Roasting Stephanie

“Love is blind,” they say.  But, I’d like to think that I have my eyes wide open when it comes to the love of life, my wife Stephanie Gregory, who’s here today to be roasted.

Many of you know Stephanie as an educator, a church deacon, and a wife, mother, and daughter.  But today I’m going to try to fill out your picture of Stephanie a little by sharing with you a little about two of her other traits, her mischievous sense of humor and her penchant for footwear.

Stephanie gets her mischievous sense of humor partly from her family.  And one group of people she shares it with is her students.  Stephanie teaches elementary school over in New Albany.  First thing in the morning she may be speaking with some of her students about where they live.  After reporting to her what neighborhood they live in, they turn to Stephanie and say:  “Mrs. Gregory – where do you live?”  Stephanie says, “I live in Louisville.”  And her students ask:  “How do you get here?”  Without batting an eyelid, point to her wet hair, Stephanie says:  “Well, I swim, of course.”  Believe it or not, Stephanie’s second graders usually believe her.  Her fourth-graders – not so much. 

Stephanie also shares her sense of humor with the kids at church.  For example, after worship, she might say to now five-year-old Rose, granddaughter of Martha Miller, “You’re coming home with me, right?  Little Rose looks a little worried and then says, “Uh . . . I think I’m going home with . . . my parents.”  Once in a while, Stephanie pulls out all the stops, and gets caught.  Rose loves pink, and one Sunday Stephanie said:  “Rose, you’re coming home with me.  We’ve got a pink house, and I just got a pink car!”  Without hesitating, Rose said.  “Sure!  Let’s go!  I want to see the pink car.”  Well, Stephanie doesn’t have a pink car.  I don’t remember how she finessed things, but she was caught.

We’ve talked about Stephanie’s mischievous sense of humor.  Now I want to talk about her penchant for footwear.  When Stephanie was growing up, she lived with her Grandmother a lot.  One morning at the breakfast table, she said:  “Grandma, I think we need to buy me some more shoes.  I’m out of shoes.”  Grandma Gregory looked puzzled, but she said:  “Are you sure?  Let’s go up to your room and see.”  Stephanie was a little hesitant, but up they went.  Grandma Gregory went into Stephanie’s closet, and counted 89 shoes.  She was very stern with Stephanie:  “You’re like a little Imelda Marcos.  This is way too many shoes.  Why don’t we go through your shoes?  I bet some of them don’t fit or are worn out.  And some of them you have probably forgotten about and will still fit and still look great.  They’ll be like new shoes.”

Ironically or not, Stephanie grew up to have problem feet.  She’s generally tackled this now, but one of her strategies has been to buy good, expensive shoes, especially Dansko and Birkenstocks.  Vincent and I got used to her buying these shoes.  In fact, Stephanie and I went to a co-ed bridal shower for one of her colleagues a few years ago, and we played a Newlywed-type game where Stephanie and I had to answer the same questions, separately, and then we’d see if our answers agreed.  We were asked how much Stephanie had paid for her last pair of shoes, and I didn’t hesitate.  I said “$120.”  I knew that because that’s how much all of her pairs of shoes cost.

Stephanie still goes astray occasionally, and sometimes she gets caught.  Every once in a while, Stephanie comes home and tells our son Vincent and me:  “I bought some shoes, and I got a great deal.”  “A great deal” is always a bad sign.  Vincent asks:  “How much did they cost?”  And Stephanie hesitates and says, for example:  “$65.”  And both Vincent and I yell at her.  I say:  “$65?  You know what’s going to happen.  You’re going to wear them a couple of times, and then you’re going to have to give them away, because they’ll kill your feet.”  Vincent and I have the “$100 rule.”  If the shoes cost less than $100, Stephanie has no business buying them.

Stephanie has gotten caught in other circumstances too.  One summer Stephanie lived for a couple months in my little apartment in Illinois.  The apartment was furnished kind of primitively and only had a little 1950s black and white TV, that we somehow got attached to cable.  It only got the three basic stations, plus Fox, PBS, the Weather Channel, and QVC.

One night Stephanie called me and said:  “I was watching TV tonight and saw a great deal on QVC, but they were Birkenstocks, and they’ll match a couple of my outfits great, and so I bought them.”  I said:  “Honey . . . . what . . . color . . . are . . . they?”  Stephanie hesitated, and looked nervous, and then said:  “I don’t know.”  It turns out that the shoes did match some of her outfits, but when she bought them she had no idea if this was the case, because she was watching a black and white TV.

I’ve tried to share with you something about Stephanie’s lesser known traits, like her mischievous sense of humor, and her penchant for footwear.  I’ve also hinted out how she sometimes uses these traits in her public roles, like when she kids her students and bonds with guests at church about shoes.  I feel can give you a broader perspective on Stephanie.  After all, I’m in love, but I’m not blind.

 - Perry

Appalachian mission trip reflections

God, I believe, calls each of us to a ministry.  And God may call us to many different ministries over the course of our lifetimes.  God, I also believe, gives us opportunities to explore new possible ministries, to develop skills for ministries, and to exercise leadership, including spiritual leadership.

There were lots of these kinds of opportunities during our Eastern Kentucky mission trip.  And the trip affirmed for me the concept of call.  Let me elaborate on each of these.

Because our mission team was so small, everyone got a chance to shine and lead.  This was the case even though on a trip with a bigger team, some of us might have been eclipsed by others who were more outgoing or more assertive.

Our chances to lead came at our home base (the house next to the First Presbyterian Church of Hazard – where we cooked, ate, cleaned, played, and had devotions), at the work site (at the two houses which he tried to help the Housing Development Alliance finish), and out on trips where we experienced the beauty of the mountains and learned about the issues that mining raises.

I took a photograph that I love of the three young people – Hannah, Emily, and Ethan – scrubbing the floor of an HDA house that was almost done.  But Emily is taking a break to chance the station – or whatever – on her smartphone.  I was initially skeptical when the kids started listening to one of their phones at this site.  But the kids had all just cleaned a pile of gross garbage out of the front yard and the street, they were into the music, and they seemed to be working even harder to the sound of the music.  I eventually was happy enough that I moved on to our second house, leaving them and Hilda to finish up.

Later that night I was leading food preparation for dinner when I decided there were a couple of more food items we needed.  I wondered whether I should stop cooking and take time to drive to the grocery store to buy those items.  But, after a while, I decided there was no need for me to do  this, when I could simple send the kids to the convenience store a couple of blocks away, which should have what we needed.  And off they went on what turned out to be a bit of an adventure, but they came back with what we needed, and I was happy for them to take the lead on this.

Many of you know that I’ve been involved in a bit of a career transition.  It now looks that I may teach college next year.  It’s been almost 10 years since I taught college students, and occasionally in the past I wasn’t firm enough with my students or I wasn’t very popular with my students, or both.  While on the mission trip, I was sometimes firm with your kids, and they usually listened to me.  And often they still seemed to like me, which was I nice combination that gave me some good experience and confidence going into teaching. 

On those long car rides, they kids also share with me some insight and information on youth culture, which I’ve fallen a little behind on, and on school norms.  For example, they told me that kids a year or two or three away from high school shouldn’t be surprised if they were told to put their cell phones, tablets, and laptops away before class.

Finally, your kids and Hilda and I, along with the carpenters, electricians, HVAC people, and landscaping team formed, I thought, a pretty effective cross-generational, cross-gender, cross-class, and cross-cultural team.  Many of my classes will definitely have to also be this if I am going to succeed back in the classroom.

So, I thank God and you all for this opportunity to serve, learn, grow, and lead.  I’m also thankful for experiences that confirmed for me that I might have a new call and prepared me a little for that call.

May it be so.

-Perry