Time for a change?

Five races we’re watching that could be decided early (as all polls close by 8 p.m. Eastern time): For southeastern Indiana’s U.S. House seat: U.S. Rep. Baron Hill vs. Republican challenger Todd Young; for Kentucky’s open U.S. Senate seat: Attorney General Jack Conway vs. Dr. Rand Paul; for Metro Louisville mayor: Democrat Greg Fischer vs. Metro City Council Member Hal Heiner; in Ohio: Gov. Ted Strickland vs. Republican John Kasich; and for Florida governor: FL Chief Financial Officer Alex Sink vs. Republican Rick Scott (pictured above). If the Republicans take all of these (certainly possible), I predict they will also take the U.S. Senate.

Watch Perriello-Hurt in VA and Chandler-Barr in KY also. In two other Congressional districts where we have roots, Democratic incumbents Allen Boyd (in FL) and Mary Jo Kilroy (in OH) seem already headed for defeat.

- Perry

Surprise!

Thursday night my new urologist called and said that my blood test results with regard to my prostate were OK, but that I had low testosterone. TOngith Stephanie read more about this and this can be connected with a whole nexus of male menopause/andropause symptom and it has some weird treatments, which the doctor alluded to. I am to get another blood test and see him in six months.

Friday - after almost finishing one of his on-line classes in time for his Mom's birthday - Vincent first said explicitly what we suspected recently - that he thinks he'll stay here with us instead of going back to Ohio and staying with his father. He was somewhat disappointed with his father aborted a planned-for move to Florida and he told Stephanie he's been surprised how easily he's almost finished this class here. They don't currently have Internet access in the RV they were staying in - with no working toilet or shower. Today Vincent highlighted the creature comforts - a bed, food (homecooked by Mom), Internet access, video games - and didn't say what I think is also true: we've been getting along pretty well, enjoying each other's company, and for better or worse we haven't been bugging Vincent much about things we used to (school work, getting a job, cleaning his room, bad language, etc.). We've also done some fun things together. I wouldn't say Vincent is that much less isolated here - he's really disengaged from his friends (including ones we don't like) and stayed in the house for the most part - as in Ohio - but in principle he still knows how to get around here more (and Meemaw is no longer in Ohio). (We also do a better job of taking care of him - with doctor and dentist et al. visits - and he seems to have quit smoking here!).

Sunday night two more surprises awaited us when I pulled the two baby turtles out fo their habitat and put them in bowls of dechlorinated water with a piece of dog food I'd been soaking. First, it appeared after a while that Big Mac - who I saw on Saturday in the contained with food in the habitat - had defecated (which they would do in the water), and then Filet of Fish - the scrawnier, less active baby turtle - whom Dr. Williams and her colleagues had tube fed - began to bite at the piece of dog food. Filet of Fish ate! Check out the video above for more evidence of this.

-- Perry

- Perry

Other health

Aunt June and Aunt Sandy called us Tuesday to tell us that Grandpa Beck, 97, is in the hospital, facing undetermined ailments. His blood county and kidney count are low, he has bronchitis, and it's possible he had some mini-strokes. We may visit this weekend. We feel bad that we didn't spend time with him this summer, as we did last summer. This is complex, since Vincent has talked about returning to Ohio this weekend, but we don't necessarily want to encourage that (and all of us going to Ohio would certainly encourage that). I may go alone. This may impact Mom's visit, slated to start in eight days, since we may want to include an Ohio visit, which wasn't originally planned.

This week Mom is taking a two-morning AARP driving class, which hopefully is giving her tips on how to perfect her driving strategies and assess her driving abilities. After trying and failing at participating in a swim class several months ago, Mom engaged in regular one-on-one swim lessons. Her mixed feelings about water, being out of the water for 30 years, and Parkinson's made the in-class experience scary and humiliating. But her general work on stretching, strengthening, and balancing - and her specific work in the pool - made her return to the swim class a success. She's still better at some things than others, but no panic in the pool this time. Good work, Mom!

Our doctor said Tuesday that I have an infection in my inner ear - my stubborn than the more run-of-the-mill infections Vincent and I had last month - and so he put me on a new round of medication. If that doesn't work, I may head off to an ear, nose, and throat specialist, potentially to have the fluid in my inner ear drained though a tube (through my ear drum!). To try to prevent the need for this, I'm also supposed to do things like I do in an ascending or descending plane to clear my ears.

No luck feeding the turtles. We are buying a new heating element to try to get the terrarium at a better temperature (instead of only 77 degrees or 107 degrees). We tried hand feeding Monday and Big Mac tried to bite Stephanie (hope that's a good sign, that he's trying to eat)! It's very hard to get the pieces of food small enough (especially cutting up live worms into small pieces). We were also told we could try fruit.

Heard from Penny Tuesday on how Serge and Jacob's birthday parties went last week. It turns out that she and I will both be in the D.C./Baltimore area - me for a conference for work, her for another round of movement classes - so she may stay with me in Baltimore one night.

P.S. Our Weight Watchers leader and meeting were in the Louisville paper today. Check the article and accompanying pictures out at: http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2010309220035

-- Perry

Challenges

Tough couple of days coming up: stressful encounteres anticipated, with a church meeting Friday and then spending time with Stephanie's stepfather and stepsiblings. We'll hope to see Vincent during this.) Also Friday: Mom shifts the stuff she couldn't fit in her apartment from a storage space a couple of miles away to a space within her retirement center complex. Keep all of us in mind as we make our way through these days.

-- Perry

Mid-week

In mid-week news: I learned that my student loan income-based repayment arrangement has been extended for another year, Stephanie learned the name of her mother’s/stepfather’s lawyer (from Bob) as we prepare for our Ohio visit this weekend, and I learned that my nephew starts 5th grade this morning. The school (pictured above) is a K-5 school, and so Jacob will be a senior!

Tuesday I narrowly averted catastrophe when I turned out my key had NOT broken off into the ignition, requiring rebuilding the ignition. Instead, the key had just broken off apparently onto the ground and all I needed was to have a copy of Stephanie’s key to my car made. We’re holding our breath because I think my transmission is going, but it’s possible we’re going to wind up with Nancy’s car, perhaps depending on what’s going to happen this weekend.

-- Perry

Missing Nancy

Stephanie called me at 3:45 a.m., after texting Vincent, to tell me the news. Hard to believe that just two months ago Nancy (pictured above during Night 1 of that long weekend) joined us for a marathon weekend that included 2 1/2 hours at a largely outdoor Beatles festival and 10 races at Churchill Downs and two weeks ago Stephanie and Nancy went shopping for a wedding present for Dustin and Jamie at Kohl's in Pickerington. Nancy went through an awful in the last eight years - with her car accident, Bobby's illness, and her own illness - and she remained determined and in good spirits - and deepened her faith - during almost all of it. But we so wish we had even a few more months with you.

- Perry

News

Good news and bad news: It appears that my health and job are somewhat secure for a while. Mid-year review went OK and blood test came up negative for cancer. Stephanie has met the new assistant principal for her school and had lunch with the person promoted to head up the school district English as a new language education program, and got along with them both. Mom's closing went fine - and she met and liked the young woman who will live there and her parents (and found that the A/C - probably 20-25 years old - died, but Mom had insured it for the whoever the buyer was before. Stephanie's mom also went home from the hospital, as her condition has improved somewhat.

Still, Nancy is weak and will be embarking on somewhat unfamiliar medical territory. And Vincent - we think - after he changed his mind and stayed in Ohio - apparently didn't get his job back (which he quit when he thought he was coming back home). Hopefully, Vincent will join Stephanie to visit Nancy and Bob at their home Saturday, while I entertain Peter and his family, before leaving for three days of meetings in Chicago Sunday night. Stephanie will come back to set up her room early this coming week.

-- Perry

Big 24 hours

It’s already started to be a big Wednesday/Thursday for us. In Ohio, as we speak, Stephanie’s Mom is getting out of the hospital and heading home. Also in Ohio, Vincent – who called us this morning and asked us to pick him up to come back for good today - is – having been persuaded to stay on – trying to make up with his father (maybe they'll even move to Florida together, Vincent said), with whom he’s been living in an RV parked in the front yard of a friend of his father’s.

Today Stephanie – having met Tuesday the new assistant principal at her school - had lunch with the person who has been promoted essentially to head up her school district’s English as a new language education program.

Thursday afternoon – more or less simultaneously – I’ll have my mid-year review – which I’m anxious about, all the more so in this layoff-prone environment – and Mom will go with her realtor to the closing on the house. If everything goes OK, I’ll still have a job Thursday evening, but Mom will no longer have a house. There are still a few things from the house – like a chair or two – that Mom needs to figure out what to do with.

-- Perry

Housing and health

My Mother spent a nervous weekend waiting to hear whether the would-be buyer of her house would go ahead and buy. He had been trying to get Mom to pay to fix some additional wood rot that was found. But no final phone call came him and the drama will apparently go on until the end of the month, when the closing is scheduled. The buyer will lose some money if he does not go ahead with it. He's buying it for his daughter, a Florida State student, to live in (and probably housemates). Mom also reached a couple of milestones: she turned in the last work product for work - a short narrative describing and analyzing some data she had put into tables - and marked her fourth week of one-on-one swimming exercise activities.

Health problems also abounded in Central Ohio, where both Stephanie's Mother and Vincent have been having trouble breathing. The guess is that Nancy's problems stem from her cancer treatment and Vincent's from smoking and asthma. Nancy was slated to go to the doctor Tuesday to find out more. Vincent and his father - having left their apartment - somewhat near Vincent's work - are now staying very near the motel we sometimes stay at when we visit Ohio - and not too, too far from Stephanie's Mom. The two also had a short drive Saturday to Canal Winchester, scene of cousin Dustin and Jamie's wedding. Vincent and his father are currently staiying in an RV - apparently Vincent's grandparents' old RV - parked in the yard of a friend of Vincent's father. (They are quite far now from Vincent's job, at the North High Street Bob Evans.)

I'm wrapping up physical therapy this week (as my knee continues to feel better - the PT said I had gone from 45% to 85%), starting taking antibiotric for stomach problems I picked up in Guatemala, and start the prerlude Thursday for a Friday AM colonoscopy. i hope my current stomach problems do not jeopardize my colonoscopy.

-- Perry

Changes

Vincent and my car going through some changes. You’ll recall that Vincent his grandparents’ long stay at his father’s and his one-bedroom apartment in Columbus got them in hot water with their landlords. His father had talked with us about him trying to buy a house in Upper Arlington (?!). Then Franklin County had pushed Vincent’s father to pay child support.

Vincent called Saturday and we got out of him that they lived their place near Easton, tried moving into a house and something like asbestos in the house made his father sick, and so they’re staying in a motel while the landlord cleans it up. Vincent didn’t say where in metro Columbus they were staying or arre staying now. Vincent called us putatively to try connect the WiFi on his father’s family’s laptop from a Bob Evans near where they’re staying (putatively to work on his classes). Apparently they can’t afford to pay the extra WiFi charge at the motel. (We weren’t able to help him figure how to get it connected.)

We’ve been working on Vincent to try to get him to go to our cousin Dustin’s wedding, at his mother’s house in Canal Winchester. We got the surprise news that he and girlfriend Jamie are getting married next month, via Facebook message. We met Jamie earlier this spring at cousin Corey’s wedding to Brittany.
Vincent says he’s been working six days a week at Bob Evans.

Ever since we got the brown Nissan back from my sister a couple of years ago, I’ve almost never locked it because the alarm system goes crazy when I try to unlock it. Twice this month – including until almost midnight Thursday – the alarm system has gone off and these times it just wouldn’t quit (even if we got the sound to stop, the car still wouldn’t stop) and so we had the car towed to a nearby mechanic. Whatever they did the first time obviously didn’t entirely solve the problem, and so back it went Friday night. Friday Stephanie got it back: They didn’t charge us, but said if we wanted to fix we’d have to take it to the Nissan dealer (presumably expensive), but gave us some advice on how to keep the alarm off. We decided to risk it and not take it to the dealer – yet, even though this is a good time to take cars in since Stephanie is not working.

One of the reasons I’m sometimes tempted to lock the car is that the trunk – which worked some until a few months ago, when my key broke off into the trunk when I was parked at a metered spot downtown – doesn’t work. A couple of months ago I took the car to a local St. Matthews locksmith. They got the remains of the key out and oiled the lock, but we still couldn’t get the trunk open. They recommended I try taking the car not to the dealer but to another locksmith on the far end of town. Friday – on the way from the doctor’s to the track for the Friday night under the lights – we decided to drop the car off at this locksmith. Saturday lunchtime we went back and got it. They said the oil must have seeped in by then and the trunk lock was working fine, and sure enough it was. They said we’d need to oil it regularly. No charge. So we got some advice from folks at both of these businesses and no charge, although we had to drive to the southern part of town once (although we’d found time to do it).

Hopefully Vincent will get into their apartment soon, and we’ll stay trouble free with my car’s alarm system and trunk lock.

-- Perry

Family news

Friday is the big day at my job. Earlier this week Mom got the go ahead to work at home, up until her retirement date (June 4). She went in for several days and got some important work done that she could have only done in the office. She met with a fitness center staff and was a little surprised that she can only mainly do what she’s been doing at the gym (she missed a couple of days when she was at the office most of the day) – She may have to consider breaking down and do exercises in the pool. Hasn’t gone swimming for 32 years.

I called Mom’s realtor’s office about whether we could get in to see Mom’s house during our brief visit next week, and she said that prospective landlords – attracted by the four bedrooms – have been the biggest draw to see the house so far. One person who visited didn’t like the house backing onto the apartment complex (over the fence). The pictures on the realtor’s website certainly don’t show the complex behind the house (though it peaks out behind the fence in the picture above). The bigger recent challenge as been the now student rentals on both sides of Mom’s house, and we probably won’t feel great about contributing to that.

(Mom will also be headed to the doctor's office Friday for a routine visit.)

Stephanie’s had a crazy week, staying at school to work late every night, five nights in a row. Tuesday afternoon was the probably the last district-wide English as a new language teaching staff meeting with the long-time leader, who will probably have different responsibilities next year (and Stephanie’s Camry may get fixed as a follow-up to that meeting). Tuesday night brought a very modest-sized group of parents and children coming mainly from the school whose families tried to hard to keep it from getting closed (the school that President Bush visited several years ago). But one Silver Street parent said he opposed the closing but was excited about Fairmont’s diversity (including many of Stephanie’s students). Wednesday afternoon brought some annoyances but bottom line a visit by a group of district staff, local academics, and state staff eager to let the IN education officials how Stephanie’s ENL program could be a model for others around the state.

(Earlier Thursday Stephanie also took her fifth-grade ENL students - and this year the fourth-graders too - in an annual field trip to see the middle school where most of them will be attending and to meet some of the staff. The regular ENL teacher - the one injured in a bad car accident this winter - is of course still out. But they met the long-term sub who Stephanie met last week, as she's a student in one of the Indiana University Southeast teaching ENL classes.)

Undergoing new treatment, Stephanie’s mother is already seeing some new side effects (without the old side effects all going away). Earlier this month Nancy and Bob had their swimming pool filled in with a dirt – a pool that Vincent, Stephanie, and I enjoyed regularly – and that dates back almost to when Stephanie, Nancy, and Bob first lived there. Maintenance is a challenge, and neither Nancy nor Bob ought to be outside in the sun.

-- Perry

Indian Lake

Click on the arrow below to see Indian Lake (from Lakeside, OH) on a cloudy April morning (where we stayed and then awoke two weeks ago tonight)

Vincent news

Earlier this week Meemaw Nancy (Stephanie’s mother) and Grandma Mary stopped the Graceland Bob Evans where Vincent now works (inside of a Bob Evans restaurant pictured above) for lunch. They often stop at Bob Evans, but this time went to a different one so they could see their grandson/great-grandson. Vincent came out and gave them hugs and they got to chat for a little while. Stephanie also talked with him later: The job is hard but he likes the people. He says he’s been taking the laptop his father got from another family member and – since the restaurant has WiFi – been working on his on-line classes on break or after work when he waits to be picked up. Thursday Vincent said he also went from working at Bob Evans before, during, and after lunch to working on a moving job with his father. Perhaps Stephanie’s father will stop by some time.

-- Perry

Mixed weekend

Thursday night we drove to Columbus for the memorial service and en-urnment of Stephanie's stepbrother Bobby, who had died Saturday the weekend before. Vincent's friend Jessi had helped talk Vincent into going with us. We picked him up, drove by my old Victorian Village apartment, and parked under the Statehouse. We walked clear around the Statehouse to get to the old downtown Trinity Episcopal Church, site of the service. It was sunny but cold. We were carrying a box with some pictures of Bobby and a wooden candleholder he had made for us. I think I have been in Trinity before, in connection with my dissertation research (and in fact my parents worshiped there the morning after their wedding in 1957), but I had never parked under the Statehouse. Many of the buildings around us figured in Chapter 2 of my dissertation.

The sanctuary of the church I don't think I'd seen before.

Vincent, Stephanie, and I sat in the second pew, behind Nancy, Papa Bob, Grandma Mary, Stephanie's stepsister Vickki, and her friend Loren. There was de facto a "groom"'s side and "bride"'s side, and we sat on the groom's side.

Below are Vickki and Loren.

The priest who had met Bobby and wife Terree a week before did a good job with a service. There was a time for several friends and family members to speak about Bobby, who was remembered as a friendly, loyal, can-do person. The first to speak was a long-time friend.

Last to speak was Tom, Bobby's older brother, who also officiated some in the service. Some relatives had apparently slated Tom to be a priest at some point. He's now a retired schoolteacher, back in the classroom sometimes.

The picture below did not turn out well, but it shows Bob and Nancy looking on during the en-urnment, when the urn with Bobby's cremated remains was placed in little locker-like box along a short wall of the sanctuary. We mostly got up and stood. Bob had had surgery just a couple of weeks before and began feeling weak and had to sit down.

After an hour-long reception in the church basement, after the service, with some pictures and refreshments, we drove to Stephanie's mom's to pick up some meatballs (Nancy and Bob stayed home), and drove to Bobby and Terree's relatively new house in Gahanna, which we'd only visited a couple of times after he got sick (most recently on the King birthday holiday weekend - by that time, Bobby - who died of brain cancer - had been on hospice for several months). Pickerington, where Nancy and Bob live, and much of the rest of Central Ohio, was shrouded in snow.

Tom, Vickki, and Loren were at the house for a while, but mainly Stephanie, Vincent, and I got to meet some of Bobby's very nice friends and in-laws - folks listed in the obituary whom we had never met. Terree has several siblings and they had lots of friends, a couple of whom recalled helping Bobby and Terree pick out presents for Stephanie when she was a pre-teen.

On the left below is Terree.

Vincent liked the food and conversation for a while, but then said he wasn't feeling well. On the way to take him home, we picked up Frisco at the Petsmart PetsHotel at Easton, and they got to hang out for a little while in the car. As always, Vincent asked if Frisco could stay with him and his father for a little while.

We dropped Vincent off at his and his father's moments later. A little more about Frisco and Petsmart and the rest of the evening later. On Saturday Stephanie and I went over to Stephanie's mom's, but I also drove 20 minutes over to my aunt's in Canal Winchester. I hadn't been there for some time.

Aunt Barb (below) has been living with Aunt June for a couple of years, since she moved back from Las Vegas. Barb was on her way to work at WalMart.

June's son, my cousin Dustin, who was staying with his mother for the weekend, lives in Lancaster - as of about a month ago, with his father, whom he first met back around Thanksgiving. Dustin and I had an interesting conversation, including about what would happen if I lost my job - but I didn't get a picture of him. June came home after a while - after shopping at Barb's WalMart - and we talked. June, Barb, and Dustin all have challenging health problems. I later talked on the phone with June's daughter, my cousin Diana (who introduced Stephanie and me), and Grandpa Beck, in Marysville. I didn't reach Aunt Sandy.

I stopped back by Bob and Nancy's. They recently had their downstairs redone and refurnished and the second floor gets redone over the next couple of months. Like the rest of us (although we didn't get Vincent to go with us for this), Frisco likes visiting.

-- Perry

More big days

(Written Friday afternoon) Friday is a big day. Mom goes to her doctor for the appointment that will help determine whether Westminster Oaks lets her in to independent living. In her phone interview earlier this week with the long-term care insurance nurse, Mom had belatedly volunteered that she might be asking Dr. Kepper for a walker prescription. The nurse stopped her and said that if Mom said anything about this to Dr. Kepper and the long-term care insurance company got wind of it, there’s no way she’d get long-term care insurance. We’ll see how Mom has done today. It probably helps that she’s seeing her doctor of 30 years.

Monday Mom has another hoop to job through. The marketing person from the retirement center called and said Mom has to go for a short appointment with the retirement center nurse – again to get into independent living – on top of today’s doctor appointment – and Mom will go for that Monday afternoon. It’s possible that the long-term care insurance company may ask Mom to go to one of their doctors later too, as she tries to accomplish two goals: getting in to Westminster Oaks independent living and getting long-term care insurance.

I think I’ve already written about how Mom suddenly is going to try to move the week of February 1, since that’s when Penny is available to visit.

Today is also a big day for us – We’re going to the Cincinnati area (actually Covington – scene of our wedding - rendezvous location pictured above) – to pick Vincent up for his long weekend visit to Louisville. We’ve seen him 2-3 times in Columbus, but at some points he has said he might not come back to Louisville for 10 years. We’ll see how things go, as he and Stephanie got into an argument on the phone Tuesday, and she was suddenly less enthusiastic. At times this week he’s also hinted that he might spend most of his time out with his friends, though we’ve invited him to a church potluck and Korean lunar New Year’s event Sunday afternoon. He’s been used to smoking inside and going to bed late, and so we’ll see how things go. When we saw him last weekend in Ohio, he said his grandparents had just left after a month of staying with his father and him in their one-bedroom apartment.

One reason why Vincent is even coming for a long weekend is that he and his job parted ways last weekend – on Sunday, while we were there. We had planned to pick him up from work but it turns out he was home as he had You can’t fire me – Iquit quit earlier in the day, after a visiting manager found him slow at a new responsibility: making hamburgers.

The official reason for Vincent’s visit is to go to his psychiatrist in southern Indiana – hopefully, to get renewals for the three prescriptions he has. I tried to get him set up with our old doctor in Ohio, but he nixed it and made it possible for him to return. After watching some of the PBS miniseries on psychology and its segment on depression, I felt it was even more important to give him the opportunity to stay on as even more important to give him the opportunity to stay on medication. Now, we have a complex day set up for Tuesday, which Stephanie will take off from work. First, I’ll go with them to Vincent’s 7:45 a.m. psychiatrist appointment. Then I got Stephanie in to a 9:00 a.m. dentist appointment back in Louisville (she has a tooth bothering her), and then Vincent has his regular dental cleaning appointment (two months late – recall also that we rushed him to one of Grandpa’s dentists in December to clean his gums). They may go out to lunch and get Vincent a haircut. Then at 3:00 p.m. Vincent has an appointment with his counselor (who we’ve talked about him doing phone appointments with, but he’s never done it – he used to see her weekly). Even though at times we’ve hoped Vincent would stay longer, Stephanie then may miss Weight Watchers again and drive Vincent probably to meet his father in Cincinnati. I’ll probably stay home not just for Weight Watchers but for my Spanish class.

Monday is also a big day for me, as at 2 p.m. is my Annual Review, when I’ll find out how much my manager will downgrade me for missing a bunch of 2010 goals. Today wasn’t a good day at work. Besides the fact that I got stuck trying to find a new president for our employee association, I suddenly had a client for the February Panel survey try to drop out. After my manager pushed me, I pushed her, and she agreed to keep her two pages- through we’re going to try to replace some of her questions with questions from her colleagues – but she was not happy. The whole thing did not reflect great on me – as I should have been finishing up the February survey earlier in the month, and I should have been staying in touch with her more since we last talked about it back in October (her budget has been slashed since then, after the One Great Hour of Sharing offering receipts from this spring came in low). We’ll see how that and Mom’s appointment go and how the whole Vincent at home in Louisville visit goes. We’ve been cleaning up a bit – including his room and his bathroom, which the dog has been staying in during the day, in his crate during the week. No vacuuming and dusting just for Vincent, but some straightening up. Next Saturday the Guatemala group is supposed to be back at our house, and so we’ll have to clean up for that too. Wednesday I have a session (church board) meeting and then I may go and watch the President’s State of the Union address with some Obama folks.

P.S. Sunday I also have to speak to the congregation twice – once to start out worship, and the second time as part of a congregational meeting – and Monday Mom has an Advanced Placement or AP meeting she’s scheduled – maybe one of the last of the standardized test meetings that she’s helped lead over the years.

-- Perry

New job

Since Stephanie’s mother helped Vincent get his now repaired cell phone back last week, Stephanie and I have talked with him periodically by cell phone. Stephanie heard distressing news about Vincent’s phone calls to his former prom date and former girlfriend, Jessi, and his hairbrained scheme to come back someday to Louisville to live with a different woman. Vincent landed a new job Thursday, at the Five Guys restaurant in Easton (which Mom and I ironically noticed a Tallahassee version of earlier this week), the gigantic mixed-use residential, shopping, and entertainment district, about a mile from where Vincent and his father lived. He won’t tell us how he’s been getting back and forth. But today he started as a French fry specialist at the restaurant, also helping prepare hamburgers and so on. He burned or cut himself on the first day and Stephanie said Vincent said it was hard work. The work reminds me a little of that of what we called a “fry boy” when I worked as a waiter at Ouy Lin Chinese Restaurant in Tallahassee. (Landing the job makes it very unlikely he’ll go with us to Florida and likely he’ll be staying in Ohio for at least a while into the new year.) Stephanie has been trying to arrange connecting with Vincent and both of her parents this weekend. Stephanie may head to Ohio Saturday morning, hopefully see Vincent after work both nights and then leave for Florida Monday morning. In the mean time, my sister and her family, slated to leave for Florida next Saturday, may have some plans change because the very bad winter weather has already changed their weekend. Good luck to them dealing with the weather, to Vincent cooking those fries this weekend, and to Stephanie traveling this weekend.

For more on Vincent’s restaurant chain, click here: http://www.fiveguys.com/home.aspx

-- Perry

Au revoir, Vincent

Stephanie and Vincent's father (pictured above) chat while Vincent and his friend Aaron (not pictured) say good-bye, at 6:15 p.m. Friday. The streaks are from the camera trying to take pictures without flash at dusk, with the main light from Vincent's father's and Vincent's lit cigarettes. After smoking since the day he turned 18, Vincent had quit for several months, but started smoking again this past week. Aaron and Jessi had helped Vincent pack belatedly as he threw books, DVDs, video games, and a few clothes into two duffle bags - and then went back to get the Wii. We wouldn't let him take Frisco.

We've talked with Vincent episodically since then - and he's talked and texted with other Louisville friends (including two different young women). He's stayed and visited with relatives, then moved into a house near Morse and Westerville roads (and Easton) in Columbus: http://columbusoh.apartmentfinder.com/Columbus-Apartments/Thornapple-Apartments-Apartments. Unfortunately, his name is on the lease and the utilities. He's moved in some of his father's stuff and played video games, eaten cookies, and slept some at home.

-- Perry

A tale of two cities

On the left, above, is the Duke Energy Center, home of an anime convention Vincent attended several years ago and home of lunch and the exhibit hall for the Mission Celebration (of which the Guatemala Mission and Amigos de K'eckhi were part). Below, down Elm Street, is Riverfront Stadium, where the Bengals crushed the Bears later that weekend (on Sunday).



Below - looking up the 16th Street mall in Denver. It turns out that Mom was in Denver in fall 2001 for a conference, and she (then) and I both out at the same subway resturant.



The clock tower is near the corner of the 16th street mall and another street (just around the corner from our hotel).

At the far end from my hotel was a melange of government buildings and parks . . .

. . . including the Colorado state capitol building.

-- Perry

Tabernacle

I somehow left out this picture of the Camp Sychar tabernacle, which dominates the middle of the camp grounds. This is the tabernacle at the 150-year-old camp where Billy Sunday once preached, now updated with a high-tech sound system. I mentioned I don't think I've ever attedned worship here. We weren't able to unlock and see it. Mom also reminded me that Aunt Sandy has for years - in Excel - edited/constructed the newsletter, which we get. I'm not sure who maintains this Web site: http://www.campsychar.org/

-- Perry

Burial and memorial service

I left Louisville at about 6:45 a.m. Saturday, but still managed to be late both to great Aunt Mildred's Westerville burial and Mt. Vernon memorial service. The 8-minute burial service - basically a prayer by the pastor, I'm told - had just ended when I got to Pioneer Cemetery. I chatted briefly with two of my aunts (Sandy and June) and cousin Diana, as well as with Mildred's son Neil and grandson Aaron. Some of these folks I remembered most from Grandma's funeral. Mlidred is Grandpa's younger sister, who I visited at a retirement center/nursing home in Mt. Vernon in December (after my elongated stay there due to a hospital trip) and whose husband Warren died a year and a half ago.



June, Diana, and I walked back through a bit of Pioneer Cemetery, which Mom, Stephanie, and I had visited in May. Now, Warren, Mildred, and Grandma are all buried on two adjoining plots. Aunt June's husband, Fred's, grave is pictured below, and June will be buried there someday.



It was already getting pretty hot by 11 a.m. The burial was before the service because the latest Pioneer does burials on Saturday is at 11 a.m. By the time we got back around to Mildred's grave, her casket - which had been open casket - a first for me at a cemetery - at the service - was already gone, in the ground.

I dilly-dallied a little and then - with a festival on - got lost for a while in downtown Mt. Vernon looking for the church. It turns out that the church is right next to one of the few places in Mt. Vernon I've been to - the public library - but I didn't know this and got turned around anyway. Mildred and Warren moved to Mt. Vernon after Warren retired as a minister partly because their son Neil lived there. One thing that threw me off was that - like Grandpa, Warren, and Stephanie - the Mulberry Street Methodist Church is apparently an old Evangelical and United Brethren church, and so there is another Methodist church - an old Methodist Episcopal church - a couple of blocks away.

In the service, I missed the singing by the soloist but heard the sharing by friends and family members - which was apparently structured the same as Warren's funeral there last year - and the sermon. The pastor had only been there for a year, but he'd clearly been over to the retirement center and got to know Mildred. Mildred had had surgery at the Cleveland Clinic in May on a throat problem, which had been bothering her for a while. But weeks later she turned up with serious liver/pancreas cancer, and she opted not to get chemotherapy, and went faster than they might even have warned her. This was one of those funerals where folks are sure the person is going to heaven. And so there was sorrow mixed with she lived a good life and God has called her to a better place.

Some church women helped provide a lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the hourlong service. I rolled Grandpa down there in a wheelchair - with his brother Loren in the elevator. Loren, with Alzheimer's at a nursing home in Westerville where - until June - brother Ronald - also with dementia - also lived - didn't make it to the burial - with its hot weather and uneven ground - but did make it to the service. Familiy members had gone through Mildred's stuff and produced several mementos and photo albums, including samples of her church craft work - something on which she apparently collaborated with Grandma (and I saw some similar designs).

Aunt Sandy and Aunt June had both seen Mildred recently. I later saw a picture of Mildred, Loren, and Grandpa together for Ronald's funeral in June. That's probably the last time Grandpa and Mildred saw each other. Grandpa has not gotten around as much recently, but until very recently I believe he and Mildred spoke by phone regularly. Grandpa doesn't hear great, and so it's not always easy to talk with him by phone. Family members reminisced about Mildred - both Neil and Aaron spoke at the service - and her old-fashioned letter-writing, and I have a letter that Mildred wrote us after Christmas probably a year and a half ago - part of what inspired me to visit her just nine hours after I'd gotten out of the hospital

In the food line - below - in the blue - is Loren's daughter Jeannie, a retired Marietta (OH) school teacher whom I'd last seen at Grandma's funeral - and Becky - a nursing home employee who was teary during the service (when she sat back in the back - I sat there instead of up front with the family because I got there so late) and very helpful/skilled with Loren. (Both Jeannie and Becki worked with Loren.) I talked briefly with Loren. It wasn't clear whether he figured out who I was and whether he recognized pictures. Going through a photo album with some old pictures with Grandpa and him was a similar strategy with what we tried with Louise Tilly. When they could see the pictures, it seemed Grandpa did a better job of remembering them/things. Of course, Louise and I once knew each other better than Loren and I did - so it wasn't clear whether Loren would have remembered much about me even if he was in perfect health.

Partly because most other folks I knew were already at an overflowing table, I sat with Neil (pictured below talking with his pastor - about motorcycle repair - both of them are bikers!) and his family. Also sitting with us were Neil's son, Aaron; Neil's wife, Pam; and Aaron's daughter, Haley. Aaron's Korean American wife was home with their second daughter, second, and is pregnant with a third. I believe the three of them (Haley, then 1 or 2 included, were at Grandma's funeral.)

Becki helped show Loren and Grandpa a photo album.

It was hot but I pulled out a blackish suit that my father recently sent - from one or the other of my uncles - and I wore it, even though it doesn't fit perfectly. It fit in with other suits that men wore - including Grandpa, Aaron, and Loren (posing below).

Neil was added in too.

We were among the last to leave as June, Don, Sandy, and I headed across town (though not quite as far as the December 2008 gas station, motel, and hospital - or the retirement center. Warren and Mildred lived in the retirement center for about a year. Then, after his Alzheimer's diagnosis, the staff became more concerned about Warren's care and they moved Warren over to the constant care wing. Mildred would go over to visit him several times a day. But because he became adept at doffing some of the security parahernalia - like putting the aluminum foil from the baked potatoes over a security wrist band he wore - so that he wouldn't set off the security alarms when he crossed over from the constant care side to the retirement center side this was curbed. Eventually Mildred wouldn't let him in their old apartment - she went ahead and called the staff. One of the concerns is that he could easily become confused and wheel himself out into the parking lot - and, potentially, down the hill and into the road and who knows where. I remember that Warren seemed a bit mischievous. Mildred was a bit of a straight woman - but - from what I've read of her 2003 typed 13-page memoirs, she was clearly a partner in ministry in all of those years when Warren was a pastor of EUB and Methodist churches in Ohio and Pennsylvania - and she was always proud of her daring side when she would do things he wouldn't. They met at Grandpa's Vine Street evangelical church in Westerville, when Mildred lived with her family in Westerville and Warren was an undergraduate from PA in the then Westerville EUB college, Otterbein (where my mother later took classes).

-- Perry