Car accident

A little more than a week after being at Bobby’s service, we’ve been to a couple of visitations in the past weekend. More harrowing, even, was visiting one of Stephanie’s English as a new language colleagues at the same downtown hospital rehab center where I visited another church member a month after he’d had a stroke. Stephanie has been to several conferences around Indiana with her colleagues – mainly from other schools – and then last July she and one of the middle school ENL teachers, Laura, went to the READ 180 conference in Nashville together, roomed together, and went on the ghost tour together. Practically the same month, Laura had gotten married to a man she’d known less than year and moved with him and her kids out to the country. During one of the snowstorms in February, she drove off the road and suffered a head injury (also in the car was her won, who turned out to be OK). It took four hours to get her to the hospital in Louisville and she was in coma or unconscious for a couple of weeks.

We visited her Sunday afternoon. Her brother and nephew had just flown in, but her new husband – who’s been there a lot – told us most what was going on. When we got there, Laura was taking her first shower. After she came out and sat in a wheel chair, she mainly stared into space or interacted with her husband. But she did smile at a joke Stephanie made and looked over at her (although I never heard her speak). I had never met her before. (I’ve visited one other person in the hospital after she suffered a head injury, but Laura’s injury seemed even more severe . . . ) She’s obviously made a lot of progress, but Stephanie said it’s hard to imagine she’d be ready to go back in the classroom. She and her husband are obviously very religious – in an upbeat way – but – even with the progress – it’s hard not to be sad too. Laura is probably going to come out a different person, for better or worse. Laura’s husband talked about some logistical issues too – like car registration, bank accounts, power of attorney. It makes you think – puts current challenges in perspective, make you wonder how things would go if we were in their shoes.

Say a prayer for Laura and her family.

-- Perry

February portraits

Dog day

Friday was a big day for Frisco. First, on the way to pick up Vincent to go to the memorial service, we took Frisco to the Petsmart near our motel for a haircut (and de facto dog-sitting), and he bit the hair stylist. They declined to cut his hair, and then we had to hope that the Petsmart on the way to Vincent's, at Easton, would take him for dogsitting. The questionnaire we got (never before) even asked if he had bit anyone. But they figured how to get him back there without much more misbehaving. Otherwise, we might have had to leave Frisco in the car during the memorial service. After we picked Frisco up on the way to drop Vincent off at his father's - almost eight hours later - we drove to an old art-house movie theater we had frequented when we lived in Columbus and its adjoining cafe (the Drexel Radio Cafe - we even have T-shirts for it) (I'm not sure I've been back there since we lived there). To my complete shock, they let us bring Frisco into the cafe while we ate dessert/drank tea (we were just going to carry out and walk some more with him) and then let us take him into the 10:00 "Single Man" movie, where he slept mostly but occasionally looked up and watched the movie (we sat in the back). Only one other patron noticed him. The manager had said it was so slow that as long as no big crowd showed up and Frisco behaved he could stay. They did not ask us to pay for Frisco. Frisco did steal some popcorn from me. It had been a big day for us - and our dog. We've dreamed of going back to the Drexel and mused about sneaking Frisco into one of the Kentuckiana discount theaters. On this day we got to do both!

-- Perry

Mixed weekend

Thursday night we drove to Columbus for the memorial service and en-urnment of Stephanie's stepbrother Bobby, who had died Saturday the weekend before. Vincent's friend Jessi had helped talk Vincent into going with us. We picked him up, drove by my old Victorian Village apartment, and parked under the Statehouse. We walked clear around the Statehouse to get to the old downtown Trinity Episcopal Church, site of the service. It was sunny but cold. We were carrying a box with some pictures of Bobby and a wooden candleholder he had made for us. I think I have been in Trinity before, in connection with my dissertation research (and in fact my parents worshiped there the morning after their wedding in 1957), but I had never parked under the Statehouse. Many of the buildings around us figured in Chapter 2 of my dissertation.

The sanctuary of the church I don't think I'd seen before.

Vincent, Stephanie, and I sat in the second pew, behind Nancy, Papa Bob, Grandma Mary, Stephanie's stepsister Vickki, and her friend Loren. There was de facto a "groom"'s side and "bride"'s side, and we sat on the groom's side.

Below are Vickki and Loren.

The priest who had met Bobby and wife Terree a week before did a good job with a service. There was a time for several friends and family members to speak about Bobby, who was remembered as a friendly, loyal, can-do person. The first to speak was a long-time friend.

Last to speak was Tom, Bobby's older brother, who also officiated some in the service. Some relatives had apparently slated Tom to be a priest at some point. He's now a retired schoolteacher, back in the classroom sometimes.

The picture below did not turn out well, but it shows Bob and Nancy looking on during the en-urnment, when the urn with Bobby's cremated remains was placed in little locker-like box along a short wall of the sanctuary. We mostly got up and stood. Bob had had surgery just a couple of weeks before and began feeling weak and had to sit down.

After an hour-long reception in the church basement, after the service, with some pictures and refreshments, we drove to Stephanie's mom's to pick up some meatballs (Nancy and Bob stayed home), and drove to Bobby and Terree's relatively new house in Gahanna, which we'd only visited a couple of times after he got sick (most recently on the King birthday holiday weekend - by that time, Bobby - who died of brain cancer - had been on hospice for several months). Pickerington, where Nancy and Bob live, and much of the rest of Central Ohio, was shrouded in snow.

Tom, Vickki, and Loren were at the house for a while, but mainly Stephanie, Vincent, and I got to meet some of Bobby's very nice friends and in-laws - folks listed in the obituary whom we had never met. Terree has several siblings and they had lots of friends, a couple of whom recalled helping Bobby and Terree pick out presents for Stephanie when she was a pre-teen.

On the left below is Terree.

Vincent liked the food and conversation for a while, but then said he wasn't feeling well. On the way to take him home, we picked up Frisco at the Petsmart PetsHotel at Easton, and they got to hang out for a little while in the car. As always, Vincent asked if Frisco could stay with him and his father for a little while.

We dropped Vincent off at his and his father's moments later. A little more about Frisco and Petsmart and the rest of the evening later. On Saturday Stephanie and I went over to Stephanie's mom's, but I also drove 20 minutes over to my aunt's in Canal Winchester. I hadn't been there for some time.

Aunt Barb (below) has been living with Aunt June for a couple of years, since she moved back from Las Vegas. Barb was on her way to work at WalMart.

June's son, my cousin Dustin, who was staying with his mother for the weekend, lives in Lancaster - as of about a month ago, with his father, whom he first met back around Thanksgiving. Dustin and I had an interesting conversation, including about what would happen if I lost my job - but I didn't get a picture of him. June came home after a while - after shopping at Barb's WalMart - and we talked. June, Barb, and Dustin all have challenging health problems. I later talked on the phone with June's daughter, my cousin Diana (who introduced Stephanie and me), and Grandpa Beck, in Marysville. I didn't reach Aunt Sandy.

I stopped back by Bob and Nancy's. They recently had their downstairs redone and refurnished and the second floor gets redone over the next couple of months. Like the rest of us (although we didn't get Vincent to go with us for this), Frisco likes visiting.

-- Perry

Critical time

A season of budget cuts reaches landmarks this week. This coming week the administration and board for Stephanie’s school district superintendent pictured to the right) will make decisions about how to cut $6.6 million from he school district budget. The cuts will no doubt affect Stephanie’s school and Stephanie and her colleagues. The details will likely be fleshed out over time. Stephanie and some of her colleagues talked more about this late last week. Also last week the board for the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)’s largest national agency – the one I work for – met to establish “guidelines” for its budget cutting. Income to the PC(USA) General Assembly Mission Council is slated to drop up to 15-20 percent over the next two years. Four years ago 75 people (including nearly me) were laid off in my organization, but the agency has managed to avoid big layoffs since then. May 14 is the day no doubt more of us will go.

Stephanie and I have had to speculate what we would do if we BOTH lost our Kentuckiana jobs as we think about opportunities here and elsewhere and our parents, child, and companion animals. Already this month, Humana has laid off 750 Kentuckiana employees.

For more on the New Albany-Floyd County schools corporation cuts upcoming, see: http://www.newsandtribune.com/schools/local_story_012221729.html

For more on the PC(USA) budget problems, see: http://www.pcusa.org/pcnews/2010/10176.htm

P.S. Another odd twist: A majority of Stephanie’s current English as a new language students speak Spanish, but, among those who do not, the largest are Japanese: kids of fathers who work for a Japanese firm whose New Albany plant makes parts for Toyota. With all of Toyota’s problems, it’s possible that fewer of these Japanese families may be coming to New Albany in the near future.

-- Perry

More big days

(Written Friday afternoon) Friday is a big day. Mom goes to her doctor for the appointment that will help determine whether Westminster Oaks lets her in to independent living. In her phone interview earlier this week with the long-term care insurance nurse, Mom had belatedly volunteered that she might be asking Dr. Kepper for a walker prescription. The nurse stopped her and said that if Mom said anything about this to Dr. Kepper and the long-term care insurance company got wind of it, there’s no way she’d get long-term care insurance. We’ll see how Mom has done today. It probably helps that she’s seeing her doctor of 30 years.

Monday Mom has another hoop to job through. The marketing person from the retirement center called and said Mom has to go for a short appointment with the retirement center nurse – again to get into independent living – on top of today’s doctor appointment – and Mom will go for that Monday afternoon. It’s possible that the long-term care insurance company may ask Mom to go to one of their doctors later too, as she tries to accomplish two goals: getting in to Westminster Oaks independent living and getting long-term care insurance.

I think I’ve already written about how Mom suddenly is going to try to move the week of February 1, since that’s when Penny is available to visit.

Today is also a big day for us – We’re going to the Cincinnati area (actually Covington – scene of our wedding - rendezvous location pictured above) – to pick Vincent up for his long weekend visit to Louisville. We’ve seen him 2-3 times in Columbus, but at some points he has said he might not come back to Louisville for 10 years. We’ll see how things go, as he and Stephanie got into an argument on the phone Tuesday, and she was suddenly less enthusiastic. At times this week he’s also hinted that he might spend most of his time out with his friends, though we’ve invited him to a church potluck and Korean lunar New Year’s event Sunday afternoon. He’s been used to smoking inside and going to bed late, and so we’ll see how things go. When we saw him last weekend in Ohio, he said his grandparents had just left after a month of staying with his father and him in their one-bedroom apartment.

One reason why Vincent is even coming for a long weekend is that he and his job parted ways last weekend – on Sunday, while we were there. We had planned to pick him up from work but it turns out he was home as he had You can’t fire me – Iquit quit earlier in the day, after a visiting manager found him slow at a new responsibility: making hamburgers.

The official reason for Vincent’s visit is to go to his psychiatrist in southern Indiana – hopefully, to get renewals for the three prescriptions he has. I tried to get him set up with our old doctor in Ohio, but he nixed it and made it possible for him to return. After watching some of the PBS miniseries on psychology and its segment on depression, I felt it was even more important to give him the opportunity to stay on as even more important to give him the opportunity to stay on medication. Now, we have a complex day set up for Tuesday, which Stephanie will take off from work. First, I’ll go with them to Vincent’s 7:45 a.m. psychiatrist appointment. Then I got Stephanie in to a 9:00 a.m. dentist appointment back in Louisville (she has a tooth bothering her), and then Vincent has his regular dental cleaning appointment (two months late – recall also that we rushed him to one of Grandpa’s dentists in December to clean his gums). They may go out to lunch and get Vincent a haircut. Then at 3:00 p.m. Vincent has an appointment with his counselor (who we’ve talked about him doing phone appointments with, but he’s never done it – he used to see her weekly). Even though at times we’ve hoped Vincent would stay longer, Stephanie then may miss Weight Watchers again and drive Vincent probably to meet his father in Cincinnati. I’ll probably stay home not just for Weight Watchers but for my Spanish class.

Monday is also a big day for me, as at 2 p.m. is my Annual Review, when I’ll find out how much my manager will downgrade me for missing a bunch of 2010 goals. Today wasn’t a good day at work. Besides the fact that I got stuck trying to find a new president for our employee association, I suddenly had a client for the February Panel survey try to drop out. After my manager pushed me, I pushed her, and she agreed to keep her two pages- through we’re going to try to replace some of her questions with questions from her colleagues – but she was not happy. The whole thing did not reflect great on me – as I should have been finishing up the February survey earlier in the month, and I should have been staying in touch with her more since we last talked about it back in October (her budget has been slashed since then, after the One Great Hour of Sharing offering receipts from this spring came in low). We’ll see how that and Mom’s appointment go and how the whole Vincent at home in Louisville visit goes. We’ve been cleaning up a bit – including his room and his bathroom, which the dog has been staying in during the day, in his crate during the week. No vacuuming and dusting just for Vincent, but some straightening up. Next Saturday the Guatemala group is supposed to be back at our house, and so we’ll have to clean up for that too. Wednesday I have a session (church board) meeting and then I may go and watch the President’s State of the Union address with some Obama folks.

P.S. Sunday I also have to speak to the congregation twice – once to start out worship, and the second time as part of a congregational meeting – and Monday Mom has an Advanced Placement or AP meeting she’s scheduled – maybe one of the last of the standardized test meetings that she’s helped lead over the years.

-- Perry

Big days

Today is a big day for me as I have a meeting scheduled with my manager at 2 p.m. going over my draft Annual Review materials. This coming Monday at 2 p.m. is our official Annual Review in which he'll let me know how much he's docking my 2009 Annual Review for not achieving some of the Presbyterian Panel objectives we laid out for me last January (and in general not keeping up with my Panel administration responsibilities as much as we'd hoped I'd be able to) (and in this general down-sizing environment - even though the Haiti disaster - along with the stock market's rebound - might ultimately take a tiny bit of financial pressure off the national church). But today's meeting will give an inkling of what direction he's going in. Of course, I've got to continue to make progress on Panel projects and responsibilities.

Yesterday was a big day for Mom. She made progress accessing funds she'll need to "close" on her Westminster Oaks apartment next week. And given Penny's schedule she set a very ambitious time table of moving during the first week of February, when Penny is now slated to be there. Mom was also interviewed by staff with the possible long-term care insurance insurer yesterday. Friday is her next big medical appointment, as she goes then to see her doctor in an appointment that could help insurance she gets into her apartment (independent living), instead of going to Westminster Oaks' assisted living unit, where she would not be able to eat in the dining room with the independent living residents.

Wish us both luck.

-- Perry