Mid-year review

Wednesday night I stayed up for the second night in a row trying to come close to finishing a big report for work. With my 2 p.m. Thursday mid-year review meeting with my manager looming, I have tried to use the valuable extra time – when it turned out that last Thursday was a week early to get further ahead. I did not finish the report – though I made a lot of progress. My Thursday last week I had almost finished a shorter research summary and finished a draft of a survey – both of which my manager had wanted done by this week. I made more progress over the last week planning for clients for the next few Presbyterian Panel meetings, partly by taking the initiative and scheduling meetings with people my manager or I had thought might be promising clients.

Wednesday afternoon I had discovered that I had filled out the written Mid-year review wrong, and so I redid Wednesday afternoon and gave my manager a new copy.

Recall that one of the most unpleasant experiences I’ve faced at this job was the ANNUAL (end of the year) review meeting with my previous manager 2 ½ years ago. And in January the new manager was a little tough on me for not getting some things done, and there was plenty more material to work with in this meeting (plenty of missed deadlines, according to the pretty ambitious schedule he had adopted for me in my 2009 performance goals. But this time he wasn’t tough on me. I had noticed that it appeared that one could actually change goals – including deadlines – mid-year – maybe even after one had missed some of the mid-year goals. He didn’t go for that but he did say in the section to the right of each goal I could not only note the goals I had achieved but also say something about why I’d miss other goals and re-set new deadlines for them (trying to be neither too conservative nor too aggressive in this deadline-setting is complex).

Some of those reasons in general include me having to still do more of my old job for a while this winter and spring, data problems with two projects, and perhaps a somewhat steeper learning curve than we imagined for this new job (my manager conceded that – since he’d been doing it for 21 years – he might not have entirely appreciated how much learning new things it would all entail).

Trying to prioritize things – which projects to try to finish first – is still sometimes a quandary – especially projects where there is not a deadline looming that a client set – just something we want to go ahead and get done for its own sake.

I always wonder – what we will come up to talk about – and then we go on forever. This may have set a record for me – 1 hour and 20 minutes – it’s just that we spent the majority of time talking about things over than the review. Also discussed were the following topics:

- his family’s new cat
- our struggles with another office partly over a controversial Panel summary he once tried to release early, our church’s Evangelism Committee
- the Cooperative Congregational Studies Partnership whose meeting I’m going to with colleague Gail in three weeks and whether we can afford to stay in and whether I should stay on as Outreach Committee chairperson
- focus groups projects and how two newer colleagues had done on projects on which I worked with them

On the whole, our two managers still supervise what I do pretty heavily – and this comes new with him since he wasn’t a manager before and our old manager was in some respects pretty hands-off and so now there’s two of them – I have mixed feelings about all of this. On the one hand, I’m getting all of this free, on-the-job training in areas that – I must confess – like survey research that I did not have that much experience with. On the other hand, it all feels like a lot of unnecessary micromanagement sometimes.

Anyway – pretty good review meeting – I’ve got a lot of work to do (including a little bit I’m taking on our vacation) – and – unless they have surprise big September layoffs – my job should be OK at least until the annual review in December (we’ll see if I’ve made any of my deadlines by then).

We tried to nail down our plans for leaving Friday afternoon to visit with Stephanie’s West Virginia relatives, and then on Saturday morning to a family reunion in a nearby town. But Frisco is sick – probably from something he ate on our Tuesday morning walk – and he’s staying overnight at the veterinarian’s – which may delay our departure. He may stay with the vet/at the boarding place at the vet’s – where they can monitor him, instead of staying with us in West Virginia and Ohio (and boarding for just 4 ½ days near the airport in Ohio while we’re in Vegas).
Frisco hadn’t eaten or defecated for a couple of days and he moped much of Thursday – though as we were dropping him off tonight at the vet’s he was pretty energetic.

Another companion animal complication: Thursday morning I noticed that our female turtle, Speckles (pictured below resting after the big event), who had been trying to lay eggs for several weeks, had indeed laid half a dozen eggs overnight. I was able to pick up all of them – she didn’t lay any more later this morning – and rescue most, setting up the whole incubation process again. By nightfall, at least half of them still seemed OK – others were sunken in. We already have a long list of turtle and plant care tasks that we’ve asked our friend Jessi, Vincent’s former prom date, to stop by with her mother to handle. Drying off some of the turtle egg incubation contraption is just something else we’re adding to that list, but we do feel a little bad about it. We’re hoping for turtle babies one of these summers.

Stephanie did try reaching Vincent by phone on Thursday, but he didn’t pick up. In the long run, this is a little worrisome because we don’t know exactly where he is, as his father may have moved.

More mix of news: We were unnerved to get – as I do each year – a renewed call to pay back my student loans – which I usually stall by getting economic hardship forbearance – while the government pays for some – but not all – of the interest that would be accruing. We’re already paying Stephanie’s back each month – and this is hard enough, even with help.

Better news: Mom says that Aunt June’s throat cancer is in remission, which is a big pleasant surprise. She still has trouble eating and still has a bunch of other health problems. But beating the cancer – at least for now – is a big miracle itself.

Another slightly unnerving event: I got into a little bit of an argument with one of our neighbor’s sons when we came home and a car – of a guest of theirs, it turns out – was parked in our carport. This is an important neighbor relationship since we and they share a driveway that (even though it’s technically mostly on the property of the house we rent, we still have to maintain cooperation/good spirits.

You might pray for contined healing for June, Frisco, and Speckles – and for my work and our finances

-- Perry

Health news

My Mother spent most of the morning at the same orthopedic practice where she’s been a couple of times, this time partly with a spine doctor who also specializes in medication. Apparently the scans Mom has done showed something that was readily apparent to everyone before: definite osteoporosis in a bone that connects the hip with the spine and some vertebrae collapse around there.

What will be up next is an attempt to persuade Mom’s insurance company, Florida Blue Cross Blue Shield, to pay for use of an until recently experimental drug that not only – like some of the “miracle drug” she’s been taking – reduces some of the pain and symptoms associated with this bone decay, etc. – but also builds the bone back up (teriparatide - a synthetic hormone that the manufacturer calls Forteo). Ironically, the maker of this new medication – which has been marketing thie medication for about eight years – is Lily, whose foundation paid my salary and benefits for 4 ½ years. Ironically, I also got the news from my Mom minutes after making more calls over in Southern Indiana in support of President Obama’s health care reform.

The news is serious no matter what happens: First, Mom has some serious osteoporosis that puts her more at risk for something like breaking her hip (and recall that our friend Mary Hardison was never able to complete a hip replacement and is bed-bound at Westminster Oaks). Second, even if the insurance company approves coverage of the new medication, it involves use of a complex delivery system akin to diabetes, where Mom would have to inject herself with the medication every day. Third, if the insurance company nixes it, Mom might have to forego this potentially life-saving medication or get a lawyer to advocate for her with the insurance company or dip more heavily into her savings and change some other financial patterns.

We’ll see what happens. Mom doesn’t like needles but she seemed to accommodate herself to this possibility. Mom also didn’t seem very inclined to push it if the insurance company says No.

-- Perry

Haircut and pickup

For hopefully the last time on a weeknight, Vincent stayed out late with Evan. When he came home, he completed a Target job application on-line (pictured above). He irritated me by – I discovered when the dog got me up – staying up until 2 a.m. watching TV. He’s going to have to come home by hid old bedtime (9 a.m.) on weeknight after this. I was tired, of course, this morning (I’m suffering in part because neither of the two of them have to get up at any particular time in the morning, and so they stay up late) and was 25 minutes later to work. I woke Vincent up by phone at 10 a.m. and Stephanie got him to complete three more applications, these all paper and pencil. He actually delivered one and talked with the manager (who said she’d be hiring in about a month), a manager at the ice cream store nearby with whom I’ve also spoken.

Vincent’s father was supposed to appear at 12 noon but had no cell phone, and so who knows when he’d arrive? He also has gotten lost almost every time he’s come into town. Miraculously, he showed up with no I’m lost pay phone call about 2 ½ hours late. Stephanie and he chatted about Vincent. Contrary to what Vincent said – and probably contrary to what he probably told Vincent – he’s got no computer, and so - unless Vincent goes to the library – Vincent will get no school work done for 12 critical days. (Vincent supposedly did a little school work between completing and delivering the job application.) While waiting, then, Vincent’s father glanced under the hood of one of our cars, Mom’s old Camry, looking for the source of the burning oil smell. Otherwise, they talked standing in the living room, and he washed his hands in the kitchen. Vincent then took him over to meet Evan (Sam and him having never met, I believe).

Vincent’s father had threatened to take Vincent – with lots of fading pink hair left, and some blonde – often not looking good because Vincent takes so many naps, which mats it down. Instead, when they got over to Evan’s, Evan said they had clippers, and Evan, his mother, and Vincent’s father took turns, giving Vincent a military cut, mainly brown, with a little pink. Vincent shaved/bald almost isn’t that much better than pink, but hopefully it will grow out some by the end of the month. Perhaps he will have some job interviews then. Vincent’s father said we could play it by ear about pickup, which means we could take Vincent to Marysville, where he might be able to do some work on Aunt Sandy’s computer.

And off they went at about 3:20 p.m., as Vincent’s father continued his trip from Florida to Ohio, this time with Vincent in tow.

P.S. It occurred to me this afternoon that Vincent and his father can now do two things together they couldn’t do before: go out for a cigarette smoke together and commiserate about how many have done them wrong. Sure enough, said Stephanie, as Vincent and his father pulled away in Vincent’s father’s car this afternoon, Vincent was already puffing away – something he can’t do in our cars. Vincent’s father was also bad-mouthing a former girlfriend while he was here (although Stephanie said she didn’t overhear Vincent bringing up Samantha during the brief time they were all three together).


P.P.S. One unambiguously good thing happened today at home. Although Stephanie got the dishwasher to work this morning, the appliance repair person came for the third time in 10 days. He said he’d talked with a colleague and they had a theory. Sure enough, when he cleaned out the .. . . the dishwasher seemed to run better/more consistently. He thought they had finally got to it. Hopefully, it will keep working.

-- Perry

Saturday volunteering

I skipped the drag show partly because I planned to volunteer at two places in the morning. For several days women from the around the country and around the world had been arriving for the Presbyterian Women gathering, which was starting officially after lunch Saturday. Every three years for the past12 or 15, several thousand women descend on Louisville for a week of activities. All week women have been touring through the Presbyterian Center - just 3-4 blocks from the convention center - where the gathering is being held (and just 3-4 blcoks from Connections) - and many getting their pictures taken in front of the building and around Peace Seeker, the five-year-old Gallapalooza horse in front of our building. The women above were some of the "Global Partner" women on hand for the gathering. I chatted briefly with one of these women, who was from Palestine (at top right, I think). Saturday morning I showed up a little after 8 a.m. It took me a while to find anything to do. By 9 a.m. I was helpfully staffing an information booth with Kay, a woman from our friend Sarah's church. Diana, the woman on the right, was the first person who recruited me to help out. Helping giving arriving conference people - mainly middle-aged women - directions and information reminded me a lot of twice when I've helped Mom who was helping lead two different Florida American Association of University Women state conventions.

Below, Kay and Diana go over some of the information we were supposed to have at our finger tips.

Unzu is another Korean American staffer, who works with Presbyterian Women. We see each other at Asian American events, and she was a client for a study of how much Korean American Presbyterians would accept female elders and pastors. Unzu was helping display a domestic violence exhibit. Below she shows off one of the beautiful totebags gathering goers got - handmade in Peru - eac somewhat different.

Below in the jean skirt is Leslie, a reporter for the independent "Presbyterian Outlook" weekly who sometimes shows up at our church.

Leaving the convention center at 10:30 a.m. I buzzed across the 2nd street bridge to Perfections, a cafe across the river in downtown Jeffersonville (IN), very near where I'd gotten my hair cut the day before. There I was to canvass with the quasi-Obama campaign Organizing for America in support of the president's health care reform principles. You'll recall that twice in the previous month I'd been involved in similar tasks - the first time on the phone, the second time at the New Albany (IN) farmers' market - and found - in person, especially, in downtown New Albany - getting signatures was not easy. Here, I found myself paired with the one other volunteer canvasser - Jeff, who turned out to be the brotherin-law of the principal of Stephanie's elementary school - and the uncle of Abby, who helped recruit me for this, the second Saturday morning volunteer gig.

Two head honchos visited with us. Abby had stopped by earlier with doughnuts. Still there when I stopped by was Dustin, an African American man from Jeff whose house ended up being in my side of the precinct that Tim and I walked. Bethany, a librarian from Corydon in neighboring Harrison County (both she and Dustin apparently veterans of the Obama campaign), stayed the whole time and snared some signatures in the cafe and on the phone later. They gave Tim and I one precinct, giving me the odd-numbered sides of streets and Tim the even-numbered sides. We walked the first block together. But Tim turned out be particularly adept at listening and I outpaced (as he apparently got pulled into some people's houses to listen to their health care/health insurance stories). It turns out that this was the most Democratic precinct in the most Democratic town in Clark or Floyd county. So this was much easier than me circling downtown New Albany two weeks earlier on my own asking peopld cold. And we were just knocking on doors of Democratic and independent voters. We were fine to ask people we saw on the street - of if someone new had moved in - and I got several people to sign who were not on my lists. Still, I got about 10 signatures in 1 3/4 hours or so of canvassing (Tim and I walked through town to get to the precinct, which killed some time - although it made for activity points). There were a few African Americans on the route - including several cross-racial couples - and some older whites. Most people - if I found them at home and got them to answer the door - were somewhat friendly - whether or not I signed them up (or they signed themselves if I didn't have their names). No Obama death threats - although I did hear a disturbing story where a man said his friend who works for United Parcel Service in Louisville said that the friend's union was telling people that UPS was laying people off - apparently this was the UPS line - primarily because of Obama tax hikes. It was nice to talk with more supporters - even though walking through town and going to all of these "no home" houses was expensive time-wise. I got the feeling that - once you finally reached people - it was easier to have a conversation with people in person than on the phone (of course, this was even easier in this somewhat urban neighborhood, where the houses weren't that far apart and people weren't locked up in their suburban houses.) In general, things haven't looked good lately, since a week ago I got a daily e-mail message from the "Columbus Dispatch" with news that President Obama's approval rating has sunk to 49% - under 50% for the first time in a big state (and one he won last year - albeit one with high unemployment) - and follow-up stories in the NYTimes about how Obama - having lost Republican voters early on - is now losing independent voters - as unemployment continues to stay high and some of the GOP attacks on Obama as socialist, big government, high-tax, and high-deficit begin to take their toll.

Below- once we got out there - was one of the people Tim spoke with far a long time. I talked with several couples where one person signed but not the other. I was particularly happy when women bucked their husband and signed.

Abby tells me we had a target of 1,000 signatures for Southern Indiana - partly to present to Congressman Hill - one of the Blue Dog moderate and conservative Democratic Congressman currently slowing down the bill - hopefully, to improve it - not just to derail it. Hill and fellow Blue Dog Dem Allen Boyd - my rep from North Florida - voted for the climate change bill - and there may not be that many more votes like this they can take. The Republicans don't yet publicly have someone lined up to take Hill on, but I'm sure it will be close again. We'll be out of town this weekend - and the deadline is next Sunday - but Tuesday I'll stop by to make a few more calls or canvassing (which Saturday I liked - even though I've though I'm disadvantaged - esp. in Southern IN - because I don't sound Asian, but I do look Asian - and even though by the time I left Perfections after turning in my stuff and completing some paperwork (with the second shift not showing up yet) I had a migraine headache (and - after stopping at church to change the Guatemala prayer bulletin board - I went home and ate lunch and took a two-hour nap.

-- Perry

Revenge?

Late last week Vincent and Samantha ended their romantic relationship, at first over the telephone and then in person (and apparently including the gift of the knife). Vincent has slept and hunt out with his former prom date Jessi and new friends Seth and a lot with new friend Evan (his new obsession: hanging out with Evan and his friends and playing the card game Magic with them (and sometimes riding around in Evan’s car with him – at least he’s not having sex and he’s two doors down and I don’t have drive over there every night and try to coax him into coming back with me) since then and not done a lot of housecleaning or school work.

Vincent did send Sam’s mother and employer (?) e-mails spreading a mix of lies and not about Sam and their relationships and her time in Denmark (which essentially constitute sexual harassment of a minor – including that the two of them had sex at her family’s house, which he now says is true. So, at least for now, Sam (and her family – as he’s now burned his bridges with the folks he once called “my real family”) is out of his life.

With this change, Vincent now says he’s going to visit with his father not for the 5-9 days we suggested but for almost two whole weeks (he was skeptical about the whole thing when he thought he was going to be hanging out with Sam). This happens to coincide with most of the period during which Stephanie says Vincent must finish his two on-line classes, which probably means it won’t be possible for him to do this by August 1.

Stephanie has talked with Vincent – and a little with Sam’s mother – and none with Vincent’s father or (this week) with Vincent’s counselor - more about all of this than me. We’re having to move a bunch of Vincent health care appointments and unfortunately it doesn’t look like he’ll be able to move up his counseling appointment.

So Vincent won’t go with us to Mason or Point Pleasant, West Virginia (where Stephanie’s father will apparently also be for the Schwarz family reunion - at the West Virginia State Farm Museum - pictured above), at the end of the week, or to Las Vegas with us this weekend (that we didn’t consider too seriously), or to Marysville with us later next week (or even over to either of his maternal grandparents’ earlier that week – Meemaw and Papa Bob are having the first floor of their house totally renovated, and Bobby’s health continues to slide.).

We’re slated to visit with our friend Melissa with her family – not in Cincinnati as originally, but in Columbus – on Sunday in a week and a half – and presumably we’ll pick Vincent up before or after that. On the other hand, it’s possible Vincent may be headed right back to Columbus (or Florida) with his father, if we stick by our guns about him only staying with us if he finishes the two classes. There’s the possibility that Vincent will go with his father to Florida at some point, or we’re not going to pick him up absent some big emergency, and so that would self-enforce the no course completion exile. On the other hand, if Vincent – under pressure from us – is going to abandon the on-line school, I’d prefer he take the General Equivalency Diploma (GED) exam and get a job, instead of doing nothing. We are pushing him to apply on-line for a job at the big Target reopening in our neighborhood before he goes.

Much of the time Vincent says he is upstairs reading for his on-line English class or on the computer working on math or English, he’s really sleeping, pleasure reading, or instant-messaging with his friends or – it turns out – sending harassing e-mail messages to his former girlfriend’s parents and employers.

Vincent maintains that his father has Internet access and he’ll work on his classes there. But I doubt he’ll even get much sleep, take his medication, or brush his teeth while he’s gone – let alone do school work.

At least he didn’t stab Sam – or himself (again?) or anyone else, us included – with that knife he supposedly gave her. He’s ditched the crutches and special shoe and is supposedly stretching his foot periodically. Walking in her new shoes blistered Stephanie’s foot and so we’ll see how that works out. And I’m awaiting my computer-assisted tomography (CAT) scan of my abdomen and pelvis results.

-- Perry

La Boy La Femme

After leaving a rather high-brow black and white movie event, Yvonne (a friend from church) and I headed over to Connections, a gay bar known for its drag queen dance review shows. We met up with Yvonne's friend, Charles, at the ATM in front of the hospital where Yvonne has just finished her 2nd year residency.

Having never been to a drag show before I was astounded by the bodies of these guys/gals (I'm not sure what to call them). Yvonne and I had some discussions about how the bodies of these men looked better than many women's bodies (like ours). We also discussed if a gay man goes to a drag show to see a man that looks like a woman, is the gay man really just looking at a woman? and if so, how does that make him gay? Rather philosophical dialogue between blasting techno music, disco and laser lights, waiters taking drink orders, men (and some women) rushing up to the stage to offer money to the dancers, and couples of various mixes dancing.

Mokha Montrese, the above dancer, was a big hit. As soon as the announcer said who was going to be dancing and the music started thumping the men flocked to the stage. Some men (the one in the very front in this picture) would often stand there and give the dancers several dollars in a sequence. The dancers in turn would dance in front of him and then let him kiss their cheeks. Charles did not like one particular dancer, Supermodel Asia, so he would actually turn his seat around so his back would be to the dancer. Note to non-attendees...they do not take their clothes off they just don't wear very many clothes to begin with.

Hurricane Summers, in the below picture, is the master mind of the show. She/he does a stand-up comic type act. She comes off the stage and into the audience. She heckles/talks to the audience and jokes around with them. First timers were especially prone to being heckled. Yvonne and I lied to Charles and said I had been there before so that Charles wouldn't call Hurricane over to our table. Hurricane did find a couple of people to really pester as so I was safe.

At one point Hurricane Summers was joined by two men that were actually dressed like men. They call themselves La Boy La Femme. They lipsynched and danced to the Scrotum Song. The following link shows the song at a previous show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MewWCcJuMQ . Much of the song was very tongue-in-cheek and full of double meanings. When Yvonne and I finally went to the dance floor part of the club we went to a balcony so we could observe everyone. Since neither she nor I felt like dancing (I had a blister from my new pair of shoes and she had just eaten White Castle's) we discussed dancers on the dance floor and took turns voting people off (much like a popular tv show).

I left during the second show, around 2ish, and got home about 2:30. I couldn't remember the last time I was at a bar that late. Yvonne walked me to the car where we talked for awhile. I was under the impression that bars closed at 2:30. Yvonne said that in Louisville some bars don't close until 4 or 6 am. Man, I'm too old to stay out that late!

----Stephanie

Phantom of the Opera

Some time last week as I was leisurely perusing the newspaper (my summer morning ritual) with a cup of coffee I came across an article about the Louisville summer movie series at the historic Palace Theater downtown. When we lived in Ohio we watched old movies at the Ohio Theater during their summer movie series, including Lawrence of Arabia. As I read on the article described the movies that would be in Louisville for the summer. They were having a old monster movie revival. This seemed like something right up our alley.



The first movie was showing Friday night. Thursday day Perry called me from work. He wanted to know if I (and possibly boy) wanted to see a old black and white monster movie that was showing in a downtown theater. As we discussed what movie it was I had to laugh. I still had the article out on the kitchen table so I would know the schedule of all the different movies.

Friday night Perry and I did go to the opening movie, the 1925 black and white silent (it did have a musical score) version of The Phantom of the Opera. Perry and I had seen the musical while living in Columbus so hearing the old score we could definitely tell that Andrew Lloyd Webber was influenced by this movie. We grabbed popcorn and drinks (how often do you get to a movie theater that offers wine and beer...even though I opted for ginger ale) and headed into the beautiful theater.

We enjoyed the atmosphere and then the lights went down. I was completely wowed! The ceiling and walls that weren't decorated were painted a soft blue and had lights shining on them. This gave the impression that you were in an elaborate Italian garden watching a performance on an amphitheater stage. It was better than being outside. You sat in nice padded seats. There was no itchy grass or biting bugs. But, best of all, it was air-conditioned. This was definitely an experience.

As we left the theater Perry spotted some people we knew. There was Marcus (the juggler you might have seen in the Churchill Downs entry) and his wife, Yvonne, and their oldest daughter, Arriana. Yvonne and I have a friendship at church based on a love of shoes and the possession of bad feet. Dansko and Birkenstock sales are often a basis of much excitement. Yvonne is winding up her residency in Internal Medicine, so is on her feet a lot. Of course being a teacher, I can say the same as well.

Standing in the elaborately decorated hallway (Mom and Bob...this makes the Columbus theater's pale in comparison) we realized that we were parked not very far from each other. We walked and laughed to our cars as we discussed the movie. We all had enjoyed the movie and were looking forward to some of the other offerings this summer, including one of the movies, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, which if I remember right was shot on location at Wakulla Springs just south of Tallahassee. We all agreed we would have to come back.

Perry especially enjoyed the elaborate artwork throughout the whole theater. The ceiling (sorry, the pictures didn't turn out) has carved bas relief portraits of famous playwrights, characters, historical figures, etc.

We oohed and aahed at all of the nights offerings. And then...as we walked to the car Marcus mentioned he had to go to work. Arriana had to go home. Perry had a slight headache. But, Yvonne and I were still ready to go out.

Just as we arrived at Marcus and Yvonne's car Yvonne mentioned another place that Yvonne and I could go. The night was young (only 9ish). We were without children and husbands. We had already participated in a rather high-brow artistic performance. Yvonne wanted to know if I was interested in something a little more alternative. I'm always up for new things. So Marcus drove off with Arriana. Yvonne and I dropped Perry off at his car and Yvonne and I were off to our next adventure - which, as you'll see, was more alternative.

--- Stephanie