"How to Maximize Your Efficiency, Effectiveness, and Productivity"

Key points from the final (Wednesday, November 10) workshop University of Louisville business professor Russ Ray (pictured above) offered on time management and related topics (a workshop that I attended):

- Spend 10-15 minutes every morning planning, going over your calendar and to-do list for the week, month, and further. Review goals/goal-setting. Emphasize goal-setting.

- During large swaths of time, minimize interruptions – perhaps including not checking e-mails or ignoring all e-mails except for immediate colleagues and known clients.

- Work on whatever is most important/urgent in the morning, when you are most productive, including setting aside time for big projects that you need uninterrupted time to work on.

- Minimize subscriptions/listserv subscriptions, etc. Only read that which is essential.

- Avoid meetings. If meetings are absolutely necessary, start meetings on time, end them on time, and stick to an explicit agenda.

- Avoid having conversations in your office, as you can’t control as easily how long someone will stay there.

- Delegate as much as possible.

- Say “no” politely to non-critical tasks.

- Participate in Toastmasters, learn speed-reading, and develop an exercise routine. Get enough sleep. Take real vacations. Nevertheless, go in to work early and leave late.

-- Perry

E-mail from outgoing Congressman Baron Hill

Dear Perry,

I want to take a moment thank all of you who have supported this campaign with your time, your effort, and your generous contributions. None of you need me to tell you that this was a tough race. And while the outcome may not have been exactly what we'd hoped, I want you all to know how incredibly proud I am of the organization you helped build. In all my years in Congress, I have never seen anything like it.

This job has never been about winning elections for me. It's always been about fighting for the people of Indiana and about doing the right thing.

I'm proud of my record, and of all the things we've accomplished over the past two years:
- We created over 3 million jobs and turned around the biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression
- We saved the auto industry, preventing the devastation of Indiana's workforce.
- We made college more affordable for millions of students.
- We passed important regulations ending the worst practices of credit card companies and protecting consumers and our economy from risky Wall Street investment schemes
- And of course, we passed historic reform of our broken health care system, expanding access to millions of uninsured Americans.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I believe that when the history books are written, it will be said that it was the Democrats who saved this country. I have no regrets from the last two years, and neither should you.

Betty and I have been deeply moved by the support, hard work and dedication you have poured into this campaign. I don't know yet what the next step is for me in my career of public service, but I hope to see you all again, and I look forward to continuing our walk together.

Sincerely,

Baron

Time for a change?

Five races we’re watching that could be decided early (as all polls close by 8 p.m. Eastern time): For southeastern Indiana’s U.S. House seat: U.S. Rep. Baron Hill vs. Republican challenger Todd Young; for Kentucky’s open U.S. Senate seat: Attorney General Jack Conway vs. Dr. Rand Paul; for Metro Louisville mayor: Democrat Greg Fischer vs. Metro City Council Member Hal Heiner; in Ohio: Gov. Ted Strickland vs. Republican John Kasich; and for Florida governor: FL Chief Financial Officer Alex Sink vs. Republican Rick Scott (pictured above). If the Republicans take all of these (certainly possible), I predict they will also take the U.S. Senate.

Watch Perriello-Hurt in VA and Chandler-Barr in KY also. In two other Congressional districts where we have roots, Democratic incumbents Allen Boyd (in FL) and Mary Jo Kilroy (in OH) seem already headed for defeat.

- Perry

Emergencies

Last week we faced a number of emergencies:

- We discovered that all of Vincent’s three online dual-enrollment high school/college classes had “timed out,” after four months and lost the money invested in them. We were able to get Vincent signed up again for one of the classes, at the same reduced rate, although incompletes will now show up on a community college transcript for him. As he tries a third time to complete this class, it’s more clear he will have until the end of February only.

- Contractors for the gas company came to our house to dig up our lawn and upgrade our natural gas links and they decided our natural gas hook-up to our dryer was outdated and shut it off, pending replacement. (The picture above shows the bulldozer they left in front of our house for a couple of days.) We were eventually able to reach our landlord and persuade him to consider covering this, and a plumber was out to our house today to do so. Our dryer should now run after being out of commission for nearly a week.

- Taking some of my stuff up to file in my boxes in the second-floor alcove, I made what may have been a mistake of peeking into Vincent’s room (which takes up most of the second floor and has no door). His room was a disaster area and this eventually led to our first post-Vincent returning argument. We seem to have made up – although I promptly left for a long weekend for work – even though Sunday night (by days of the week) was the one-year anniversary of the big argument we had that triggered Vincent’s ten-month stay with his father in Ohio. Stay tuned.

In the midst of the construction and dryer problems last week, bad weather – including two tornadoes – struck Kentuckiana. Vincent and the dog had to go into the basement, my colleagues with windows had to leave their offices, and Stephanie’s school lost power and then had to spend an hour on the floor in the hallways. Some of the kids were upset, and the events threw the whole week off.

- This past week Grandpa Beck, Uncle Don, Aunt Sandy, and her sisters helped arrange for him to shift from regular home health care, with extra therapy, to hospice care. This should give Don, Sandy, and June extra help but will mean that there are limits to what health-care workers are to do to keep Grandpa alive if he goes to the hospital. More on this later.

P.S. During my last few minutes at the sociology of religion conference my colleagues and I went to last weekend, I managed to inadvertently humiliate my manager, in a way that I imagine he’s still annoyed about. Although I’m relieved the conference – including my presentation and several other projects I was trying to get done by the end of the month – is over, as well as the election (in 20 hours), November brings the final few weeks for me to get things done before my Annual Review – probably at the end of the month – including two Panel reports, a Panel reestablishment time line, and so on. Already my manager seems annoyed that the November Panel survey is obviously going to go out late. And another mediocre Annual Review would not be a good way to go into the next round of layoffs in a year or two.

In up and down health news, Mom tried a new machine that assesses balance this week, and came through with flying colors, impressing her former physical therapists and not appearing to be the resident most likely to fall. On the other hand, I left a drawer open in the bathroom and Stephanie’s foot was injured – and bloodied – in an incident shortly thereafter.

- Perry

More victory!

Victory!

Surprise!

Thursday night my new urologist called and said that my blood test results with regard to my prostate were OK, but that I had low testosterone. TOngith Stephanie read more about this and this can be connected with a whole nexus of male menopause/andropause symptom and it has some weird treatments, which the doctor alluded to. I am to get another blood test and see him in six months.

Friday - after almost finishing one of his on-line classes in time for his Mom's birthday - Vincent first said explicitly what we suspected recently - that he thinks he'll stay here with us instead of going back to Ohio and staying with his father. He was somewhat disappointed with his father aborted a planned-for move to Florida and he told Stephanie he's been surprised how easily he's almost finished this class here. They don't currently have Internet access in the RV they were staying in - with no working toilet or shower. Today Vincent highlighted the creature comforts - a bed, food (homecooked by Mom), Internet access, video games - and didn't say what I think is also true: we've been getting along pretty well, enjoying each other's company, and for better or worse we haven't been bugging Vincent much about things we used to (school work, getting a job, cleaning his room, bad language, etc.). We've also done some fun things together. I wouldn't say Vincent is that much less isolated here - he's really disengaged from his friends (including ones we don't like) and stayed in the house for the most part - as in Ohio - but in principle he still knows how to get around here more (and Meemaw is no longer in Ohio). (We also do a better job of taking care of him - with doctor and dentist et al. visits - and he seems to have quit smoking here!).

Sunday night two more surprises awaited us when I pulled the two baby turtles out fo their habitat and put them in bowls of dechlorinated water with a piece of dog food I'd been soaking. First, it appeared after a while that Big Mac - who I saw on Saturday in the contained with food in the habitat - had defecated (which they would do in the water), and then Filet of Fish - the scrawnier, less active baby turtle - whom Dr. Williams and her colleagues had tube fed - began to bite at the piece of dog food. Filet of Fish ate! Check out the video above for more evidence of this.

-- Perry

- Perry

Other health

Aunt June and Aunt Sandy called us Tuesday to tell us that Grandpa Beck, 97, is in the hospital, facing undetermined ailments. His blood county and kidney count are low, he has bronchitis, and it's possible he had some mini-strokes. We may visit this weekend. We feel bad that we didn't spend time with him this summer, as we did last summer. This is complex, since Vincent has talked about returning to Ohio this weekend, but we don't necessarily want to encourage that (and all of us going to Ohio would certainly encourage that). I may go alone. This may impact Mom's visit, slated to start in eight days, since we may want to include an Ohio visit, which wasn't originally planned.

This week Mom is taking a two-morning AARP driving class, which hopefully is giving her tips on how to perfect her driving strategies and assess her driving abilities. After trying and failing at participating in a swim class several months ago, Mom engaged in regular one-on-one swim lessons. Her mixed feelings about water, being out of the water for 30 years, and Parkinson's made the in-class experience scary and humiliating. But her general work on stretching, strengthening, and balancing - and her specific work in the pool - made her return to the swim class a success. She's still better at some things than others, but no panic in the pool this time. Good work, Mom!

Our doctor said Tuesday that I have an infection in my inner ear - my stubborn than the more run-of-the-mill infections Vincent and I had last month - and so he put me on a new round of medication. If that doesn't work, I may head off to an ear, nose, and throat specialist, potentially to have the fluid in my inner ear drained though a tube (through my ear drum!). To try to prevent the need for this, I'm also supposed to do things like I do in an ascending or descending plane to clear my ears.

No luck feeding the turtles. We are buying a new heating element to try to get the terrarium at a better temperature (instead of only 77 degrees or 107 degrees). We tried hand feeding Monday and Big Mac tried to bite Stephanie (hope that's a good sign, that he's trying to eat)! It's very hard to get the pieces of food small enough (especially cutting up live worms into small pieces). We were also told we could try fruit.

Heard from Penny Tuesday on how Serge and Jacob's birthday parties went last week. It turns out that she and I will both be in the D.C./Baltimore area - me for a conference for work, her for another round of movement classes - so she may stay with me in Baltimore one night.

P.S. Our Weight Watchers leader and meeting were in the Louisville paper today. Check the article and accompanying pictures out at: http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2010309220035

-- Perry

More health

Friday I took Vincent for his follow-up visit to the oral surgeon did removed his wisdom teeth. Vincent’s mouth had been bothering him all week, but when we got there the doctor removed Vincent’s stitches (I missed it – I was out with the dog – in a couple of minutes. Vincent has used up almost a whole bottle of Advil, but is getting better. I’ve faced health issues as I re-re-injured my right knee (on my way to the doctor three weeks ago) and have started going back irregularly to physical therapy. Fall allergies – worsened by dust in Nancy and Bob’s basement and Nancy’s things now in our house. When I went to the doctor, I got some antibiotics for among other things an ear infection. Replacing it was a weirder ear condition that has made my hearing a little worse and has lately mimicked tennitis. Tuesday I go back to the doctor – but no running to the bus this time. In between, I’ll hope that my allergies and sneezing don’t wake me up in the middle of the night again. We’re also fighting health problems with our baby turtles, who haven’t eaten after three and a half weeks (despite one and a half reptile vet visits). This week we’re going to try to a different heat lamp.

-- Perry

Health issues

Vincent and I continue to battle colds and ear aches we picked up in recent weeks, even after we’ve run through a whole series of antibiotics. Fall allergies – plus suffering from all of the dust we’ve tracked into the house with the dozens and dozens of receptacles of fabric, etc. we brought from Nancy and Bob’s – also plague and this may be behind some of both Vincent and my symptoms. Ironically – on the way to the doctor – I ran to the bus last Monday and my knee is as bad as it’s been since I reinjured it in June. I’m behind enough at work that it’s hard to know how I’d go back to physical therapy regularly. I’m trying to do some stuff at home. Vincent has picked up a Perry-like illness – athletes’ foot, for which it’s possible we’ll try to take him to the doctor early this week. Vincent is already slated to go Tuesday to the dentist and to the psychiatrist and Wednesday to the oral surgeon to have his wisdom teeth pulled. I will take him to the Tuesday appointments and Stephanie will take him to the Wednesday appointment (her taking a day off of work, even though Tuesday will be her first day for bringing students to her new classroom, even though not everything in the classroom is ready), while getting to the doctor herself that day. After doing a lot of yard work and playing Wii Sports Resort Saturday, Stephanie’s back has been bothering her. We both hope to get back to Weight Watchers Tuesday also.

-- Perry

Baby turtle stupid pet trick

The larger of the two baby turtles, then five days old, wouldn't eat worms, but did crawl out of the food receptacle, land on his back, and then right him/herself. The smaller turtle was not quite so active. Click on the arrow to watch the video.

Baby turtles

For years one of our adult turtles, Speckles, has been laying eggs once or twice a year. In recent years, we've adopted an elaborate incubation system for the eggs, but grew pessimistic about them hatching (We knew they could be fertilized.). Imagine Stephane's surprise two weeks ago when she noticed something moving in the incubation chamber, and found not one but two apparently less than one-day-old baby turtles. We've done lots of research since, but haven't got them to eat, which we are very concerned about. We've created a somewhat different kind of habitat for them than for their parents, tried different foods, and tried fiddling with the temperature and lighting (and tried taking them outside). Their father (Greenville) went on a five-month hunger strike when he first connected with us, but the vet we took them to last week said the babies definitely wouldn't last that long. Wish for patience and ingenuity for us and energy, healing, and (eating) inquisitiveness on the part of the babies, who Stephanie have dubbed Big Mac and Filet of Fish.

-- Perry

Challenges

Tough couple of days coming up: stressful encounteres anticipated, with a church meeting Friday and then spending time with Stephanie's stepfather and stepsiblings. We'll hope to see Vincent during this.) Also Friday: Mom shifts the stuff she couldn't fit in her apartment from a storage space a couple of miles away to a space within her retirement center complex. Keep all of us in mind as we make our way through these days.

-- Perry

Mid-week

In mid-week news: I learned that my student loan income-based repayment arrangement has been extended for another year, Stephanie learned the name of her mother’s/stepfather’s lawyer (from Bob) as we prepare for our Ohio visit this weekend, and I learned that my nephew starts 5th grade this morning. The school (pictured above) is a K-5 school, and so Jacob will be a senior!

Tuesday I narrowly averted catastrophe when I turned out my key had NOT broken off into the ignition, requiring rebuilding the ignition. Instead, the key had just broken off apparently onto the ground and all I needed was to have a copy of Stephanie’s key to my car made. We’re holding our breath because I think my transmission is going, but it’s possible we’re going to wind up with Nancy’s car, perhaps depending on what’s going to happen this weekend.

-- Perry

Atlanta experiences

The presentation I made on behalf of my colleagues Joelle and Ida and me at the Association for the Sociology of Religion (ASR) Annual Meeting earlier this month in Atlanta went OK. Not a lot of feedback until I talked with fellow panelists and others afterwards – who gave advice on an alternative tactic – using hierarchical logistic regression, as a form of multi-level modeling. (So far some web materials almost make it sound like multiple regression – as well as SPSS - is out in academic circles.) There were a few other religion presentations that looked at community involvement/civic skills issues also. We may explore these (other methodological approaches) for our upcoming Religious Research Assiciation Annual Meeting presentation. (Pictured above is the Hyatt Regency hotel, site for the ASR meeting. Pictured below is another of the scholars on Friday morning panel, presenting.)

Rhys Williams’ ASR presidential address on the development of Muslim American identity also dealt with the controversy over the “Ground Zero” mosque, as did at least one other ASR presentation. I thought his speech was good.

The Census Bureau director (pictured below) continued (what he’d started talking about at the American Association for Public Opinion Research Annual Meeting, which I attended last May) to talk about ways the census might shift to using some administrative records, like Social Security files, and some public pressure to do so (don’t you guys already have this info in several other federal government databases?). He also talked about public outcry about various things, including a number of steps that they were sure would enhance response rates (and ultimately save money), including the controversial Super Bowl ad.

The American Sociological Association (ASA) presidential address dealt with efforts to get undocumented non-citizens able to take classes at state universities and colleges and eligible for federal financial aid. Some of the introduction dealt with school segregation for Asian Americans, Latinos/as, and Native Americans, some of which I didn’t know about (“Oriental schools” in California, for example). There were a number of other presentations I heard vaguely related to the Arizona law: administrative, political, and social-movement opposition to immigration, etc.

Another ASR theme was unconventional worship and congregational activity (particularly centered around young adults) including a panel discussion mainly among Emerging church movement practitioners. Most of them also tried to be amateur sociologists, but the most interesting presentation was PowerPoint slides and stories from a PC(USA) NCD organizing pastor of a emergent church ministry in SW Atlanta. The pastor talked about an Ash Wednesday event in which folks had burned their own (something?) and then they texted everyone and asked that everyone meet at dinner time at a MARTA (Atlanta subway) stop and they combined their ashes and played music in the subway station. It’s not clear if this was an alternative to conventional worship. He also talked about lunching with the pastor of a black Pentecostal church in the neighborhood and generating ideas for how to help the local neighborhood tackle the problem of child sex work in the neighborhood. Here’s a web presence (though I find the website confusing): http://churchasart.com/blog/neighborsabbeyhome/about/

Afterwards I asked the pastor if he found helping coming up with new ideas for activities all the time both liberating and exhausting. He said - not at all – that’s my personality, as it is for most of the creative class that we’re partly angling towards. These folks control many of the messages that we receive from the culture industry – why wouldn’t we want them in our churches?

Keep in mind that the ASR meeting program coordinator’s books are both studies of congregations catering to young adults: http://praxishabitus.blogspot.com/2009/12/hollywood-faith-holiness-prosperity-and.html).

Monday I had lunch with two friends, including one who formerly worked here (Columbia seminary prof Martha Moore Keish) and her husband, a pastor at Atlanta’s First Presbyterian Church, and we had an interesting conversation, including about the future of the denomination.

-- Perry

Mid-August news

Mom went to the doctor and got set up with yet another new medication. Stephanie will meet with her principal Tuesday about which kids she will be teaching and starting when. Apparently she will stay put in her new classroom, but her classroommate - who's been very helpful - will move into a different classroom (with a smartboard). Stephanie will not be sharing rooms, although she and Tiffany will continue to work together as the two READ 180 teachers. Part of an expected bump in enrollment did not materialize, and so another classroom opened up. Stephanie and Papa Bob talked a couple of times this weekend about us coming up there in a couple of weeks to get more of Stephanie's mother's stuff. More things may be forthcoming later. Apparently Bob is not doing great. He said Nancy has left him notes throughout the house which he is uncovering gradually. I got in a little trouble today because late last night - for a complex reason - I erroneously sent out a wrong version of something to an important client. Wednesday - half a day after returning to Louisville - I am slated to help follow up on an issue from last month's Guatemala mission trip.

-- Perry

Doggie day care pics

First day

First day of school for Stephanie, and first day back for both of us. It's the first day for teachers in her school district (with no big district-wide meeting this year), but no doubt there will be some meetings today and Tuesday at her school. Students arrive Wednesday; Stephanie is supposed to not have students until later, but she now has a classroommate, and her students, and her classroommate spent all last week what Stephanie had planned to do: set up the classroom ("volunteering"), them having both moved over the summer and now sharing a classroom. We'll see what kind of negotiation there is with her (Tiffany) and with their principal (Susie Gahan). Stephanie also doesn't know what she's teaching exactly, who she's teaching, whether she's doing after school activities (she didn't sign up for this), let alone do any lesson planning. You'll recall that the school lost the 5th grade, which Stephanie used to teach, but gained 100 extra students, plus the usual new students, with all of the district-wide school closings. Also, last year, Stephanie started teaching the READ 180 intervention program and sometimes math, in addition to teaching English as a new language, and we'll see what happens with that. You'll also recall that a district-wide ENL administrator got promoted.

(Also: As part of the reorganization, the school district switched the middle school and elementary school times, and now elementary schools start earlier, and so Stephanie must be there at 7:40 a.m., instead of at 8:15 a.m. We both got up at 5 a.m., and I may start coming in to work at 7:30 a.m. instead of more like 8:15 a.m. myself. Even if we're not carpooling, things work better if we leave at around the same time.)

Things are also a little different at my work, where I've also been gone for a week. I had to clear out much of my office before I left (when I thought I was going to meeting in Chicago), for recarpeting and refinishing the desks, etc. This is done, but now I must move back in. I've lost my telephone, which I'll probably have to pay to replace. I have behind with a range of projects and am slated to go to a couple of conferences in Atlanta for five days, starting this Thursday PM, and must prepare a Friday AM presentation for that (plus church meetings this Wednesday). Lots to do while we also try to follow up on this past week's events.

P.S. I did get some good health news for me over the weekend, although some follow-up is needed.

-- Perry

Notes for Pastor Hamilton's August 5 funeral sermon

Romans 8:31-39
“31What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36As it is written,
‘For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’
37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Jn. 14:1-6
1 "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 2In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. 4And you know the way to where I am going." 5 Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?" 6Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

I knew the first time I met Nancy that she had a kind and compassionate spirit. We met at the hospital when she was visiting her mother. We talked briefly about her automobile accident. She greatly loved her “big” brothers and was well-loved by all her family.

Born February 19, 1950, Nancy was part of a caring clan. Graduated from Olentangy High School in 1968. Worked for Merle-Normon, 7-Up, Shasta, and Coca-Cola before retiring in 2005. Maybe some men objected to having a woman as their boss—but she won everyone over.

Nancy possessed a character that—

• Did not complain or talk ill of others.
• Served others even when sick herself.
• Didn’t seek pity and never lost hope.
• Generous, compassionate, patient.
• Faithful and family-oriented (Hostess of a lot of family gatherings).
• She loved to laugh, had an infectious smile, and knew how to have fun in life.
• She listened because she genuinely cared.
• Deeply loved her four stepchildren.

Oh how she liked to shop. She appreciated beauty (Biltmore) and took care of her looks over the years. Yes, she was the family princess, but she could be tough and put bigger, stronger people in their place. When she was laid up for a while because of a serious auto accident, Nancy was still concerned about others before her own needs.

Growing up in Powell when Powell was country meant some lean times. She learned to sew and at times stayed up late at night to make her clothes for the next day.

Nancy was wife, mom, and “Memaw”. She was there for all her family, and will be truly missed.

Nancy and Bob celebrated thirty years of marriage in September of 2009.

On her Facebook profile Nancy wrote “there is never enough time in the day to accomplish everything you set out to do.” She maintained a positive outlook on life and endured all kinds of treatment for her cancer, but in the end, her body wore out and she passed away without doing all she would have liked to do on this earth.

The author of the book in the Bible called “Ecclesiastes” knew similar frustrations. There were things he wanted to know and do, but because he lived in a sin-cursed world, he found many of these pursuits “vanity” and “striving after the wind” (Ecc. 1:16). He learned that God’s sovereign hand controls everything.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die…” (Ecc. 3:1-2).

A life can be ended suddenly in the prime of youth, or the eventual end of years of suffering.
“What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time, and then vanishes” (James 4:14).

One can die so suddenly and leave others wondering how this happened, or one can pass after years of cancer. The fact remains the same—we have an appointment to keep.
“It is appointed unto man once to die, and after this the judgment.” (Hebrews 9:27)

Solomon learned, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” (Proverbs 27:1)

No one should presume upon the future. God reminds us of the brevity and uncertainty of life. The arrogant fool assumes that he is “the master of his fate, and the captain of his soul.” He assumes that he controls his destiny. The Christian knows that God controls the future, and that what God wills will happen. It is not, “What will be, will be,” as though no one is in control. It is not, “What I will, will be.” It is, rather, “What God wills, will be.”

When Nancy was diagnosed with cancer I was able to visit her at Mt. Carmel East for a short talk. I shared with her some truths from Ephesians 2. We didn’t get to finish the study until a few months later when she was receiving treatment at Zangmiester. As she heard what the Apostle Paul said about our spiritually lost and dead condition, Nancy blurted out, “I believe!” At that moment she stopped trusting good works and trusted in the finished work of Jesus Christ for salvation.

A funeral causes all survivors to think about mortality and eternity. The departed loved one is missed and mourned. Family and friends wonder why. We try to comfort each other. Did you know that heaven rejoiced when Nancy arrived?

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” (Ps. 116:15)

Most people would not put “death” and “precious” in the same sentence. We say that life is precious and worth protecting.

Death reminds us that we are not in charge, but that we have an appointment—with death. A person’s view of death reflects their world view. Living in this cursed world we need redemption of body and soul. You are not only dying, but you are dead! Or were (spiritually).

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air…carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind” (Eph. 2:1-3).

We want to hear that we are good and doing fine, but the fact is that we are born sinners and estranged from God. Something must be done to change our status or we remain condemned.

“We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.” (Isaiah 64:6)

Many of you witnessed changes in Nancy over the years. Maybe she wasn’t as spry as she used to be. Maybe she could not wear her favorite shoes anymore. Maybe the treatments left her sick or tired. Maybe you noticed spiritual peace the last year of her life.

“When one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

God provided a remedy for the curse of death. Jesus our Savior was the perfect, sinless, Son of God. He had no sin of His own, yet He took our sins upon Himself on the cross. He died in the sinner’s place, bearing the penalty for sin, the curse of death.

But God also raised Jesus from the dead. He is now in heaven, sitting at the Father’s right hand. All those who repent of sin and put their faith and hope in Jesus as their Savior have the forgiveness of sins, and the assurance of eternal life.

None who trust in Jesus Christ as their Savior need fear death. On the authority of Scripture we can claim an unshakeable confidence that we are Christ’s child and that He will guarantee our safe passage to heaven.

Those who are saved by the blood of Christ will never see hell or a made-up place called “purgatory”. The moment they die, their spirit goes to heaven, and they will be given a new and glorious eternal body. For the unsaved the picture is not good. They will know eternal suffering in a literal hell that was prepared for Satan and his demons.

Just as God raised Jesus Christ from the dead, He will also raise the true believer to eternal life. Death need no longer be viewed as something we dread, but rather can be welcomed as our passage from this cursed existence to a marvelous one.

“1For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, 3if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. 4For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.
6So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” (2 Cor. 5:1-10)
David prayed in the Psalms, "Now, also, when I am old and gray-headed, O God, forsake me not." The closing words of Psalm 23 record David’s confidence—“…and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
All who have put their faith in Christ are assured that they need fear no evil. Make sure your sin has been put on Christ, and you have been declared righteous by His perfect sacrifice. Live! Like Nancy, “Live joyfully” (Ecc. 9:9). The way to live joyfully is not to live for yourself, but to live for Christ! Live with the prayer on your lips “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”!

“To the old rugged cross I will ever be true, its shame and reproach gladly bear;
Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away, where His glory for ever I’ll share.”

1 Cor. 15:50-58
50I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 53For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. 54When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

"Death is swallowed up in victory." 55 "O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?"
56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Memories of Aunt Nancy (August 3)

I have been thinking all this for days, and this is how it comes out...

I will start by saying that I have the honor of being the first grandchild and the first niece, so my memories go back, far back, to young Aunt Nancy. No offense cousins, but being first has its advantages, I suppose (and I take this very seriously : ). So, at least for this generation, I will go back as far as I can remember.

But I digress.

(Already. Imagine that.).

($100 to anyone who can guess the other cousin who can out-digress me. You know who you are.)

I also hold the distinct honour of being named after Aunt Nancy.

Ever since I can remember, the Haywood's have called me Nancy Ann. I don't think I realized it until I was older, but being called Nancy Ann made me feel special. I was named after my beautiful, glamorous aunt. But in addition to that, my family gave me my own name, too. It is difficult to explain how it makes me feel when I hear it, even today…especially today.

Only as an adult do I realize that all those years ago, I hoped more than anything that I would grow up to be as fabulous as she. Correct me if I am wrong, but I always think of Aunt Nancy (even at 60) with the hourglass Barbie doll figure wearing the latest fashion and that big, beautiful, blond (or red, oh the beautiful red of late!) hair that she did herself, as well as everyone else's hair around Grandma and Grandpa's big kitchen table where every seat was full, with the kids running up and down and under the table and everywhere. She was always, all her life, so put together with the stylish clothes and hair and makeup. I know now that I inherited my love of hats and shoes from her.

More importantly, I remembered she always smiled, was always patient, always happy, always fun.

I remember Grandma and Grandpa's old schoolhouse house, and learning one day that the back room off the kitchen had been Aunt Nancy's room when she was growing up. When you're little the smallest things inspire amazement…I always loved that room after that. I got to walk through it every time I was allowed to go through it into the scary basement and watch Grandma put the clean, wet clothes through the old scary wringer which I will never forget NOT to put my hands near.

Then Aunt Nancy started to work for Coca-Cola and she would drive into the big yard full of cars and trucks and tractors and stray 50s era bumpers and other unidentifiable metal things in that great big new shiny white van with a green 7-Up logo on it. I still cannot, NOT think of Aunt Nancy every time I see a 7-Up.

As an adult I learned that Aunt Nancy was the queen of detail. Not so unlike myself, but oh, so different! I could change a tire on an 18-wheeler more easily than I could embroider the most beautiful set of cloth napkins I have ever laid eyes on. I feel I am the most un-domestic woman on the planet, so those napkins are something that I treasure. And her stories…I can picture her newly decorated house in colour, down to the new vacuum cleaner that she wanted and got (thank you Bob!) and every recipe she has given me, easy and practical as they are, include all the little tricks and extra careful thought that make it taste that much better.

Amy and I were at Grandma's with the family last Christmas. The pressure was on, as usual, to get all the gifts wrapped. Amy and I both live in Chicago so don't wrap, just fly unwrapped so those airport fools don't undo our crappy wrapping going through security and make it that much more crappy. We are crappy wrappers. Grandma cleared off the table and set us up with all the necessities and Aunt Nancy and Steph helped us wrap it ALL! We sat at the dining room table together and talked and laughed while Steph did her best to remove the lingering chicken stink-age from Vincent. (God bless the child for working so hard during the holidays.) Steph told us about Korean (Korean right Steph?) food, kim chee, etc. Aunt Nancy gave us the latest Bob and other gossip and that woman wrapped her cracked little fingers off while Amy, Stephanie, and I sat around and talked and laughed with her and wrapped nary a thing! The most beautifully wrapped Christmas gifts I have ever given. Believe me when I say that my gift recipients were highly suspicious…

One of my last memories of Aunt Nancy is also from last Christmas. We were all at Grandma's and there was this HUGE box there. All day, the box is sitting there. Everyone there KNOWS the box is for Aunt Nancy, but Aunt Nancy herself. Inside was a lighthouse. I still do not know the significance of the lighthouse. (Someone fill me in, please.) When the time came for the giant box to be opened and Grandma told Nancy that it was for HER, NOT Grandma, who Aunt Nancy THOUGHT the box was for, she was so happy! AND THEN…when she opened the box…MOTHER OF GOD. I have NEVER seen anyone's face light up like that! NEVER! It was joyous to see the joy, joy, joy, joy on her face! That damn lighthouse made her so happy!

God bless her for allowing me to see that smile and pure happiness on her sweet face.

I know I loved her from the time I could comprehend who she was, even when she was far away in years and distance and time.

I am very proud to be Nancy Haywood the Second.

(Just don't call me Junior.)

I love you Aunt Nancy and can only feel comforted that you are gone by the plain fact that I know you will be looking out for me, and everyone you loved, and who loves you dearly, until the end of time.

I believe that you died of happiness, and nothing more.

Love,
Nancy Ann

***

These are the words to one of my favourite songs, written by Dolly Parton's sister Rachel, sung by Dolly and Rachel in A-Capella harmony. It is a beautiful song and the words…well...

I have always attributed my love of bluegrass music to the Haywood in me and I think Aunt Nancy would have loved this song. I only wish she could have heard it.

But you know what?

I think that maybe she will.

***

I AM READY

I am ready
Oh, my children
When Jesus knocks at my door
I'll be there come morning
Don't weep for me
I'll be with my Lord

There's my bible on the table
Read it to me once more
I can hear God's heavenly angels
Singing me on through heaven's door

Hallelujah Lord
I am ready
No more sorrow
Hallelujah, yes
I am ready, I am ready
I am ready to go

Oh, Hosanna
Take my hand now
Lead me to the promised land now
I am ready, I am ready
Hallelujah, I am ready to go
Oh, Hosanna
I am ready to go
I can hear God's heavenly angels
Singing me on through heaven's door
Singing me on through heaven's door
And I am ready


- Nancy Blank Writing Services

Remembering Nancy

When I think of Nancy, I think of falafel: three Fs and one L. She was Fun, Listening, Family-oriented, and Faithful.

I’ve never seen someone so determined to have fun. I’ve known Nancy for about 14 years. For a majority of that time she was injured or sick. But she didn’t let a serious car accident or late-diagnosed illness stop her from having fun. The example par excellence of this for me came Memorial Day weekend this year, when Nancy came down to Louisville to see some of the sights with us. We had a great time. Nancy went with us for 2 ½ hours to a mostly outdoors Beatles festival, even though it was very hot. The next day she watched 10 races with us at Churchill Downs. This was only two months ago, and Nancy must have already been getting sicker. But I don’t think she was faking it. She was determined to have fun, and we all did. (The picture of Nancy and Stephanie above is from the last couple of hours of that visit.)

Something else that surprised me a little about that visit was – as busy as we were – Nancy wanted to go to church with us Sunday morning. After worship she got to meet some of our church friends and our pastor. This past Sunday during worship I passed a note to our pastor about Nancy’s death. Our pastor said a prayer of thanksgiving for Nancy’s life and a prayer of concern and hope for Stephanie and our family. Then she said just seven or eight words about Nancy, talking about Nancy’s optimism and zest for life. This is someone who had talked with Nancy at most for about two minutes. Nancy’s determination to have fun was very obvious even to virtual strangers.

Nancy was also a great listener (and a good viewer and reader). Stephanie and I are both big talkers. And Nancy was so patient, attentive, and enthusiastic as we told our stories and talked about challenges we faced. Stephanie called and talked with her mother about every day, and she is never going to find someone who listened to her like Nancy did. My own mother is a very good listener too, but she is no Nancy. Nancy also viewed (and also) kept hard-copy photographs when we generated them and gave them to her and - more recently - read our blog entries and Facebook status updates and looked through our Facebook photo albums - then and now, religiously. Since we stopped blogging as regularly, I usually e-mail a few regular readers a link when we've done a few new entries. After blogging obliquely about Nancy's death a couple of days ago, I habitually typed in her e-mail address as one of the few people I was notifying about the entry before I realized that didn't make sense. Sadly, I deleted her e-mail address. No one will follow us and interact with us on Facebook like Nancy did.

Most people know how close Nancy was with her family. An interesting thing was how expansive her vision of who her family was. It certainly included all of her stepchildren, their spouses and partners and widows, and their kids – all the way down to the daughter of her recently newfound youngest stepson, who she helped show around when the granddaughter visited the United States. It certainly included all of her brothers and their kids and grandkids. And it even included people on my side of the family, including my (step) grandfather. I wasn’t there, but I’ve heard this story: One day Nancy and Stephanie were driving near Westerville and they decided to stop by my grandparents’ house, where I also lived. It turns out only my Grandpa was home, but Nancy said she wanted to meet my Grandpa. Nancy bounded in there and gave Grandpa a big hug. This was perfectly natural, as far as she was concerned: She’d heard a lot about Grandpa, felt like she knew him, and – even though Stephanie and I weren’t married yet – as far as Nancy was concerned, he was family. Grandpa, who was in his 80s then and is somewhat reserved, was a little flabbergasted. But you couldn’t help but like and love Nancy, and soon Grandpa did: Now, every time I see him, he asks about her.

A lot of us – after a bad car accident and after being diagnosed with cancer – might say: God, why did I get stuck with all of this? Why me? It’s not fair. We might doubt there is anyone up there at all. Nancy may have asked herself these questions. But she certainly didn’t talk about it. In fact, Nancy’s faith seemed to grow stronger, deeper, and richer during the last few difficult years. She was ever more faithful in her final months and years. I don't know if I could have done that.

God: We don’t know why you took Nancy from us, and we don’t know why you took her when you did and how you did. There’s a big hole here that it’s going to be awfully hard for us to fill, no matter how hard we try. But, God, I believe you have a plan for every single one of us. I can’t know this, but it seems obvious to me that part of your plan for Nancy was that she would be an example for all of us, that she would demonstrate to us how to have fun, how to listen, how to be family-oriented, and how to be faithful. Maybe just maybe Nancy had done all of this that she could, and you called her home. We miss her terribly, and I have feeling that folks there with you are getting the better end of the deal. If it wasn’t already like this, I have a feeling there is starting to be a lot of laughter, a lot of smiles, and a lot of hugs up in Heaven right now, among all kinds of folks, many of whom Nancy already regards as family. May it be so.

-- Perry

Missing Nancy

Stephanie called me at 3:45 a.m., after texting Vincent, to tell me the news. Hard to believe that just two months ago Nancy (pictured above during Night 1 of that long weekend) joined us for a marathon weekend that included 2 1/2 hours at a largely outdoor Beatles festival and 10 races at Churchill Downs and two weeks ago Stephanie and Nancy went shopping for a wedding present for Dustin and Jamie at Kohl's in Pickerington. Nancy went through an awful in the last eight years - with her car accident, Bobby's illness, and her own illness - and she remained determined and in good spirits - and deepened her faith - during almost all of it. But we so wish we had even a few more months with you.

- Perry

News

Good news and bad news: It appears that my health and job are somewhat secure for a while. Mid-year review went OK and blood test came up negative for cancer. Stephanie has met the new assistant principal for her school and had lunch with the person promoted to head up the school district English as a new language education program, and got along with them both. Mom's closing went fine - and she met and liked the young woman who will live there and her parents (and found that the A/C - probably 20-25 years old - died, but Mom had insured it for the whoever the buyer was before. Stephanie's mom also went home from the hospital, as her condition has improved somewhat.

Still, Nancy is weak and will be embarking on somewhat unfamiliar medical territory. And Vincent - we think - after he changed his mind and stayed in Ohio - apparently didn't get his job back (which he quit when he thought he was coming back home). Hopefully, Vincent will join Stephanie to visit Nancy and Bob at their home Saturday, while I entertain Peter and his family, before leaving for three days of meetings in Chicago Sunday night. Stephanie will come back to set up her room early this coming week.

-- Perry

Big 24 hours

It’s already started to be a big Wednesday/Thursday for us. In Ohio, as we speak, Stephanie’s Mom is getting out of the hospital and heading home. Also in Ohio, Vincent – who called us this morning and asked us to pick him up to come back for good today - is – having been persuaded to stay on – trying to make up with his father (maybe they'll even move to Florida together, Vincent said), with whom he’s been living in an RV parked in the front yard of a friend of his father’s.

Today Stephanie – having met Tuesday the new assistant principal at her school - had lunch with the person who has been promoted essentially to head up her school district’s English as a new language education program.

Thursday afternoon – more or less simultaneously – I’ll have my mid-year review – which I’m anxious about, all the more so in this layoff-prone environment – and Mom will go with her realtor to the closing on the house. If everything goes OK, I’ll still have a job Thursday evening, but Mom will no longer have a house. There are still a few things from the house – like a chair or two – that Mom needs to figure out what to do with.

-- Perry

First of the week

Leading into an unnerving Thursday Mid-Year Review - in the wake of a mediocre January review and May's layoffs - as well as an unnerving now-annual review of my student loan restructuring - are three medical appointments for me: follow-up to Friday's colonscopy (pictured above) which what Stephanie figured out was partly a test for prostate cancer; an follow-up to my knee reinjury with an orthopedist; and our first appointment with Vincent's/our counselor since Vincent's blow-up there earlier this summer (and our first appointment with her without Vincent since last winter).

Stephanie's Mother continues to be in the hospital - with some visitors. They've ruled out kidney problems, but she is still having bladdar problems.

Mom's realtor called to say that the closing Friday is apparently on, and so, by this weekend, Mom may no longer be a homeowner.

Stephanie was back to school for the first time in seven or so weeks, at a paid week-long district-wide curriculum planning activity. Next week she'll probably "volunteer" setting up her new half classroom.

After helping entertain houseguests this weekend, I'll be traveling a lot for work-related meetings/conference in the next couple of weeks: first to Chicago and then to Atlanta.

-- Perry

Back in the saddle

Thursday, after a six-week gap, we coughed up the money (with some help) to reestablish our hotel gym/pool membership, paying the extra $20 for a family membership, so Vincent is still on our membership. We hadn't been there for quite a while.

-- Perry

Thursday

We made it three for three today, as - having gotten a new furnace and new A/C unit during the past year or so - today we got a new water heater. I left work early today as I prepared for my first colonoscopy (Friday AM) - inspired by me going with Mom to get one in December. Nancy, Stephanie's Mom, got a blood transfusion earlier this week, as she fights side effects of cancer treatment. Frisco got dental work done Tuesday, and Vincent decided his breathing problems had subsided enough that he doesn't need to go to the doctor. Vincent said Wednesday he would go today in Columbus to take the written test for his learner's permit driver's license. And Stephanie tried enjoying her next-to-last free day of the summer (now interrupted by me). Next week she will be paid to go 8-4 to continuing education activities, and the week after - her last official week - while I'll be in Chicago, part of the time - she'll probably go ahead and "volunteer" and set up her classroom, which - for the first time in New Albany - she'll be sharing, and - for the first time in four years - will be a classroom that is new to her. Custodians, Stephanie, and Vincent already moved her paced boxes to the new classroom, but the room isn't really set up. We're also planning for Vincent's next visit here, an early-September visit that will combine routine health care check-ups with the removal of two of his wisdom teeth.

-- Perry

Housing and health

My Mother spent a nervous weekend waiting to hear whether the would-be buyer of her house would go ahead and buy. He had been trying to get Mom to pay to fix some additional wood rot that was found. But no final phone call came him and the drama will apparently go on until the end of the month, when the closing is scheduled. The buyer will lose some money if he does not go ahead with it. He's buying it for his daughter, a Florida State student, to live in (and probably housemates). Mom also reached a couple of milestones: she turned in the last work product for work - a short narrative describing and analyzing some data she had put into tables - and marked her fourth week of one-on-one swimming exercise activities.

Health problems also abounded in Central Ohio, where both Stephanie's Mother and Vincent have been having trouble breathing. The guess is that Nancy's problems stem from her cancer treatment and Vincent's from smoking and asthma. Nancy was slated to go to the doctor Tuesday to find out more. Vincent and his father - having left their apartment - somewhat near Vincent's work - are now staying very near the motel we sometimes stay at when we visit Ohio - and not too, too far from Stephanie's Mom. The two also had a short drive Saturday to Canal Winchester, scene of cousin Dustin and Jamie's wedding. Vincent and his father are currently staiying in an RV - apparently Vincent's grandparents' old RV - parked in the yard of a friend of Vincent's father. (They are quite far now from Vincent's job, at the North High Street Bob Evans.)

I'm wrapping up physical therapy this week (as my knee continues to feel better - the PT said I had gone from 45% to 85%), starting taking antibiotric for stomach problems I picked up in Guatemala, and start the prerlude Thursday for a Friday AM colonoscopy. i hope my current stomach problems do not jeopardize my colonoscopy.

-- Perry

Congrats!

Upon her return earlier this week, Stephanie learned that the New Albany-Floyd County (IN) school board had granted her tenure (having taught in the district for five years and her principal having giving her positive recommendations) (click on the image above to read the tenure letter). It’s complex because Stephanie occupies a niche. But, in general, it means it would be harder to lay her off and, if her position was eliminated, she could “bump” non-tenured teachers, if she were qualified for their positions.

Over the past week and a half, Mom received an offer on her house, went back and forth with the would-be buyer (a man buying the house for his daughter, who will attend Florida State, and presumably some housemates. Friday Mom’s realtor helped engineer a deal. In a couple of weeks the man will – or will not – put up a downpayment and then two weeks later a closing will take place. The downpayment will be big enough that if he pays it, he’ll definitely close. The sale somewhat official (at a somewhat discounted price), the house is apparently off the market for now. Mom doesn’t seem to be rushing back to see the house another time or two. She won’t have to worry about having to keep the outside mowed, etc., won’t have to keep paying pest control and utilities, and won’t have to worry about not being able to sell and having to rent it out.

- Perry

Health and housing

Frisco spent a day at the vet, with vomiting, but was back Monday night, seemingly as good as ever (see above)– though he vomited again Thursday night. The half a dozen eggs Speckles laid late Saturday night continue not to look good, and the one good one she laid earlier this spring has done nothing. The Nissan is still in the shop, undergoing rear axle work. I completed my second week of physical therapy on my right knee. At some points during the day it feels great; other times it does not. I plan to bring my cane to Minnesota and Guatemala. Stephanie (pictured below) came home Tuesday night via the Cincinnati airport (without luggage - it arrived the next day) after a challenging nine days away (in China and elsewhere), jet lagged, exhausted, and with swollen ankles and a bad cold (probably due to exhaustion, too much salt and MSG, and lots of air pollution), but no blood clots. After working on the yard all day Wednesday, she slept all day Thursday. She took something like 1,300 photos while she was away and had an mediocre-to-OK excuse for not calling me from the LA airport and not contacting me by computer once she got to China. Although she did miss having dinner with my father in Koreatown, she did not miss having Peking duck in Peking. My Mother also started one-on-one water exercise classes this week. Although the water is still cold, she's done better at this than she did with the group class, although she may re-join that as she gets used to the water. The exercises she are doing are similar to what she does every morning in the gym, but these under water. She also continues a group exercise class also at the gym, I think twice a week.

Vincent and his father are awaiting the clean-up of their place-to-be in metro Columbus, while Mother awaits word Friday on the possible sale of her house after three months on the market (including one month - May - which was the worst market for U.S. home sales in years and years).

- Perry

Exercise

It’s easy to blame Mom for some of the physical problems she’s facing, although we also profited from her working many extra years for the Department of Education. Sitting behind a desk all day and being physically active only sporadically in recent years contributed to her physical problems today. One of those problems goes at least back to her knee replacement surgery, when she was not able to do some of the exercises to get back her range of motion and make it easier for her to get up off a chair.

Tuesday I got some of this medicine myself, however. Ten days ago I reinjured an old knee injury – that goes back to running in high school and then a 1994 NYC car accident – when I slammed my knee into a metal barrier I was trying to climb over (something I’ve done several dozen times there) while walking the dog. Not only did the circumstances seem freak/stupid, but – when I got to physical therapy – one thing the therapist asked me to do that I couldn’t do was lower my foot slower from one step to another – and it was clear this was not just due to my injury but due to my failure to work out my leg muscles, as I was to do at home after my 18 months of post-car accident PT. In other words, my recovery from this latest incident might have gone more quickly if I had only exercised my leg muscles more (Mom would be too nice to say: take that, son!).

My knee really hurt after I slammed it into the barrier. Unfortunately, I had a whole long list of activities planned for the rest of the day – including door-to-door canvassing in the mid 90s in New Albany between 2 and 4 in the afternoon – and I did them all. Very late in the weekend I iced my knee and elevated it, and I have taken some somewhat hat baths since then too. Gradually, I’ve gone to some of my whole post-injury routine: using a cane (sometimes) (I didn’t find it until Friday, after we had gotten the trunk fixed), not running at all, wrapping my knee in a Ace bandage, avoiding stairs or going very slowly up and down them, driving with my left foot, etc.

I did 18 months of PT back in 1994-95 partly because I loved it, and I loved going to my physical therapist in Louisville for my neck/back/shoulder injury. So, ten days after the accident, I was finally back up at KORT Spine and Sport (inside pictured above), a few blocks from our house, being diagnosed and then – the next morning – doing an hour of exercises and icing/electrical stimulation. Some of the exercises were surprisingly hard. Periodically after walking the dog in the morning I do about 5-10 minutes worth of exercises: including some I picked up from past yoga classes, some from 1994-95 PT, and some from Louisville PT a couple of years ago. However, I have never been good about using light weights to do leg lifts, which is the kind of exercise I needed so that I could step down from that stair slowly (instead of going . . . plunk!). I also have some electric stimulation device my Dad got me, that I haven’t gotten out for years. I may have to use all of these, as I try to figure out how to do PT for at least a few weeks while I try to negotiate my PT being gone next week and then me being gone to Minneapolis and then Guatemala after that. The big question: will they allow me to take a cane on the plane? It’s going to be an interesting – but sometimes painful – few weeks. And who knows whether Stephanie dodged the blood clot bullet on her elongated (but also spread out) transcontinental flight? She won’t tell.

P.S. Two more Mom connections: Mom and I may even be doing some of the same exercises (she formerly in physical therapy and now at home or at the gym; me in physical therapy). Also, I plan to check with the physical therapist/gym staff about whether Mom could use the facility to do some exercises if she were to visit us for a week or two at some point (so she wouldn't get too far behind with that).

-- Perry

Changes

Vincent and my car going through some changes. You’ll recall that Vincent his grandparents’ long stay at his father’s and his one-bedroom apartment in Columbus got them in hot water with their landlords. His father had talked with us about him trying to buy a house in Upper Arlington (?!). Then Franklin County had pushed Vincent’s father to pay child support.

Vincent called Saturday and we got out of him that they lived their place near Easton, tried moving into a house and something like asbestos in the house made his father sick, and so they’re staying in a motel while the landlord cleans it up. Vincent didn’t say where in metro Columbus they were staying or arre staying now. Vincent called us putatively to try connect the WiFi on his father’s family’s laptop from a Bob Evans near where they’re staying (putatively to work on his classes). Apparently they can’t afford to pay the extra WiFi charge at the motel. (We weren’t able to help him figure how to get it connected.)

We’ve been working on Vincent to try to get him to go to our cousin Dustin’s wedding, at his mother’s house in Canal Winchester. We got the surprise news that he and girlfriend Jamie are getting married next month, via Facebook message. We met Jamie earlier this spring at cousin Corey’s wedding to Brittany.
Vincent says he’s been working six days a week at Bob Evans.

Ever since we got the brown Nissan back from my sister a couple of years ago, I’ve almost never locked it because the alarm system goes crazy when I try to unlock it. Twice this month – including until almost midnight Thursday – the alarm system has gone off and these times it just wouldn’t quit (even if we got the sound to stop, the car still wouldn’t stop) and so we had the car towed to a nearby mechanic. Whatever they did the first time obviously didn’t entirely solve the problem, and so back it went Friday night. Friday Stephanie got it back: They didn’t charge us, but said if we wanted to fix we’d have to take it to the Nissan dealer (presumably expensive), but gave us some advice on how to keep the alarm off. We decided to risk it and not take it to the dealer – yet, even though this is a good time to take cars in since Stephanie is not working.

One of the reasons I’m sometimes tempted to lock the car is that the trunk – which worked some until a few months ago, when my key broke off into the trunk when I was parked at a metered spot downtown – doesn’t work. A couple of months ago I took the car to a local St. Matthews locksmith. They got the remains of the key out and oiled the lock, but we still couldn’t get the trunk open. They recommended I try taking the car not to the dealer but to another locksmith on the far end of town. Friday – on the way from the doctor’s to the track for the Friday night under the lights – we decided to drop the car off at this locksmith. Saturday lunchtime we went back and got it. They said the oil must have seeped in by then and the trunk lock was working fine, and sure enough it was. They said we’d need to oil it regularly. No charge. So we got some advice from folks at both of these businesses and no charge, although we had to drive to the southern part of town once (although we’d found time to do it).

Hopefully Vincent will get into their apartment soon, and we’ll stay trouble free with my car’s alarm system and trunk lock.

-- Perry

Busy week

Last Friday was the last day at work for Mom and the last day of the school year (without kids) for Stephanie. Mom’s colleagues had a modest-sized good-bye party for her, and she went through some more files. She still has a work laptop at home and a very complex table of numbers she’s trying to finish working out.

Monday morning Mom lost the close-to-the-building handicapped parking space she had informally used since she moved to the retirement center and will have to use a space she now has at an outlying parking lot. Along with not having to drive to work, this will encourage her to drive even less frequently. Mom has consoled herself about her retirement by continuing to tackle a host of transition business she’s got to take care of. She’s also begun visiting and participating several different above-ground and in-the-pool exercise classes at the retirement center. Mom hasn’t been swimming since the early 1970s, and so we’ll see how that goes. Mom concedes that she has gotten out of shape and hopes to remedy some of that without straining too much. (Her initial swim class and riding the center shuttle to a shopping mall Thursday didn’t go great.) Mom also faces challenges settling into a dining routine she likes (as practices at the retirement center continue to change) and finding people she enjoys eating with.

Stephanie ended up going back to school every day during the first four days of the week (volunteering all but one of the days). She finished packing up – or bringing home – the stuff in her old classroom and helped the custodians move some of it to the much smaller new classroom she’ll be sharing with another teacher. Tuesday Vincent and the dog went to help her. Vincent has been here for most of the week.

While I was away for the weekend, Vincent’s father – on a moving job to a nearby town – essentially brought Vincent here. Vincent – who still has a job as a Bob Evans dishwasher up in Columbus - was here ostensibly for an informal one-year class reunion of his old high school and a doctor’s appointment. As usual, Vincent spent the first couple of days here out with friends – although this with a friend we approve of - and then was tired and somewhat grouchy much of the rest of the time. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were all eventful. The two kids Vincent hung out with most of the time he was here back in April – who soon thereafter got arrested – had tried to be in touch with him, and stopped by several times. Vincent finally visited with one of them, but apparently told this kid – who is probably headed to prison – that he wanted to take a break.

Then Monday, when Vincent went to counseling – in the end, with Stephanie and Frisco – Vincent, apparently tiring of counseling – brought up stuff from the long past. He’s apparently been going through some of his father’s court records and started a debate with his mother about who was right in the expensive trial we were in vs. his father some 10 years ago. Tuesday and Wednesday Vincent went to the doctor and then an oral surgeon and then set up an early September for having two of his wisdom teeth out (an experience, Vincent recalls, that was particularly painful some 14 years ago for his mother). Thursday Vincent’s father called to explain that the child support enforcement office in Ohio had finally gotten on him, threatening his driver’s license if he didn’t start paying child support, and he enlisted Stephanie’s aid in lowering the monthly amount due (never mind that the final amount to be paid is shrinking in real terms, due to interest and inflation). Stephanie also got out of Vincent that – being kicked out of their apartment for having two extra people (Vincent’s grandparents) for the past few months – they kicked out the grandparents but are now having to look for a new place to live. (The child support enforcement effort may put a crimp in their plan to buy a fancy house in Upper Arlington.)

(Vincent also reprised his knife incident in a very small way by knocking over and braking a glass jar with marbles in it but also surprised us by going to church for the first time in months, for a Wednesday night dinner designed partly to help out people in the congregation – like us – having trouble making ends meet, with a free meal.)

Unsure about how to afford the time and money to driving Vincent all the way to Ohio Thursday (Vincent pitched that we shouldn’t do the usual meeting his father in Covington (KY) just south of Cincinnati), instead, for the first time, we drove him to the Cincinnati bus station and but him on a Greyhound bus for Columbus. This was a trial run and he should be able to do the whole bus route between Louisville and Columbus at some point (but not if he has a lot of stuff). With a driver’s license or not, his father picked him up last night and they got home safely last night. Vincent was to work this morning.

(In the past, Vincent’s father has gotten out of the driver’s license penalty by saying he can’t work – driving a moving truck – without a license and therefore wouldn’t be able to pay child support anyway. But it’s a vicious circle, because when he gets his license back and works, he doesn’t pay any child support either.)

(Because Vincent’s relationship with his friends here has dwindled – except for the friends in trouble who he broke it up with – and I guess except for the guy he hung out with this past weekend – having Vincent home this week – when he wasn’t asleep – especially since Stephanie was home some of the time – was a bit like back when Vincent was on house arrest, in that he was willing to hang out with us and do stuff with us. Vincent and Stephanie watched “Ghost Hunters” and a PBS show about ferrets and their people on TV together Wednesday night.)

-- Perry